Custom Bats Cricket Forum
General Cricket => Cricket Training, Fitness and Injuries => Topic started by: LeonieKelly18 on March 23, 2013, 06:41:29 PM
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hey guys,
i coach this u15 girls team but there is this father who interferes the whole time, every time she does something good the shouts it out so everybody hears it. Every time one of the other girls bowls a bad ball at her or hits her away he says or wide ball come sweetheart you can expect that from her. or she only has one shot get past that.
it is seriously annoying and upsets the other team members.
me and the other coach told him we didnt appreciate and nor did the girls. we told him this in a gentle and professional manner.
His reaction was rather disrespectful and upsetting.
He goes so far people start to dislike his daughter because of his behavior while she is a decent player.
anyone any ideas or anything?
All ideas are appreciated.
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You'll always get parents like that in sport, they live there sport through there kids.
If telling him didn't work, then you'll just have to tell him again.
Make him see that it's effecting the team, and making his daughter unpopular.
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ask him to improve his attitute or his daughters coaching will be stopped as it upsets the other members, if youve asked him nicely and he still continues then play hard ball.
the guy sounds like a right tool
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I use the method of "If you don't like how we do things here, there are plenty of other clubs. Please feel free to **** off"
Usually works one way or another when I tell them that :D
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Not an easy situation but I'm with a couple of the posters on this. No one player is that good that they should be allowed to run the roost (or parents in a youth team). Speak to him again in private and state the reasons about team harmony etc. Make sure you make his little girl sound as though she's the next Sarah Taylor of course to help smooth it over :)
If he still persists in being a tool and thinking she's Miss Bradman then say thank you and bye and focus on the others. No one's that good at the end of the day. (well Bradman was but the chances of finding another one is pretty slim :) )
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we already spoke to him and told him the whole story and he doesnt care.
we cant tell them to **** off as its not a club side.
and telling him she is the next sarah taylor wouldnt work as he already thinks she is.
we cant say we wont focus on her as we will get in trouble with the board and we dont selected them.
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You don't really wanna ruin the whole team that are getting annoyed just because of one talent.
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If his daughter gets coached usually there is a form of some kind to sign to allow this
What we've done in past is put a code of conduct in that form for parents and children to abide by if either go against it they are not allowed on premises and if they persist police will be called that's the nice way
Other way just tell him to shut it or you'll shut it for him
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we already spoke to him and told him the whole story and he doesnt care.
we cant tell them to **** off as its not a club side.
and telling him she is the next sarah taylor wouldnt work as he already thinks she is.
we cant say we wont focus on her as we will get in trouble with the board and we dont selected them.
Humm. Sounds like a word with the 'selectors' is in order then. If it's bad for the team then I would hope they would speak to said person or not select his daughter. Barring that, doesn't sound like there is much you can do. You could of course be mean and take the daughter down a peg or two and make her look a bit silly in training etc, but that's harsh on her if it's not her fault. Might make him see she's not quite that good at least.
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you can tell him if he continues to do what he is doing then you have no other option than to ask him and his daughter not to come .... and say it in front of him and his daughter. hopefully she will tell him to shut up if not go for plan b ........
ask him to come along to training and join in ............ then draft a local pace bowler in for one session and get him to bowl as many bouncers at this clown as you can. when he starts wimping out start shouting at him "come on girls this bloke is soft as (No Swearing Please)"
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can you have someone stand near him during a game or training when it happens and record him.
then play it back to him after the game, or ask him to have a net and play it to him when he is batting?
failing that, speak to the club chairman and ask him to have a firm word.
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I'm assuming this is a representative side from the comment about not being able to tell the idiot concerned that his daughter will be dropped if he persists.
Two points. Firstly, have you thought about doing this anyway - yes, it is more complicated, but if you are coaching the side and tell those responsible for selection what you want to do and why, and make clear that if they are not willing to back you then they will need pretty swiftly to find two more coaches, then you will probably find that you get your own way.
Secondly, I assume that your local board is the same as most any other and that there are codes of conduct in their handbooks - I don't have an MCA one to hand right now but it basically states that parents have responsibilities too and one of those is not to try and undermine the coaches of a team...
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I'm assuming this is a representative side from the comment about not being able to tell the idiot concerned that his daughter will be dropped if he persists.
Two points. Firstly, have you thought about doing this anyway - yes, it is more complicated, but if you are coaching the side and tell those responsible for selection what you want to do and why, and make clear that if they are not willing to back you then they will need pretty swiftly to find two more coaches, then you will probably find that you get your own way.
Secondly, I assume that your local board is the same as most any other and that there are codes of conduct in their handbooks - I don't have an MCA one to hand right now but it basically states that parents have responsibilities too and one of those is not to try and undermine the coaches of a team...
if it was in a country where i could go listen there are enough other girls waiting for your place i would say it. but the problem is there arnt.
he knows that and he knows nobody can actually push her away as they have her in another 2 teams.
he have been given our code of conduct paper yesterday for parents and childeren and she nor her father where there.
he has been told by people at his club and at our selection trainings that he is a annoying F***.
he is actually one of those people even outside of cricket you would stay away from as far as possible because he is just mean..
we have tried all the obvious things,
these arnt local training sessions and dead serious ones too i cant just have a P about, and as the board tells us to handle it. she is a lovely girl and dont want to put her of because of her father.
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Well, that makes it seem pretty much like your hands are tied; you don't seem to have much option other than to make all of training sessions closed to parents. Its a bit harsh on the parents who are not a problem, but their presence is far from essential!
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When i played centre of excellence football for Peterborough United and later Boston United, parents were not allowed closer than 10 metres from the edge of the playing area and were not allowed to do anything except clap, or say anything except for encouragement (ie well done, or try again mate, you'll get it this time etc) - this was for both matches and training.
If any parent broke this condition. One of the staff members would warn them once, then the following time they would be asked to leave the facility until the end of the session and were sent to the car park.
Repeat offenders were told to leave and that their child would be unable to attend training or matches until they agreed to follow the rules, or another parent/adult escorted the child. The reason given was 'we will not allow you (the parent) to disrupt the other players'
This extreme scenario only ever happened once. Safe to say the child went crazy at their dad and both mum and dad were at the next session. Slowly mum phased her involvement out, but dad never said a word again.
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I would tell him that the next comment he makes will earn him a warning. Then after the warning, he will only be allowed to view from his car only!!
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Step by step guide
1) obtain a bat
2) walk over the said parent
3) shove it up his.......
But in reality, I would go with the warnings, follow by he can't watch training.
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My Girlfriend's son has been signed by a Premiership football club. They have zero tolerance on any misbehaviour by players OR parents. This is obviously a pretty high level (even for a 10 year old) but they don't mess about. No second chances, no excuses, toe the line or you're out. I asked the coach about it and he was pretty open about the thinking behind it. Any behaviour like that has a negative impact on everyone there, it doesn't matter how good the kid might be, he's making his team-mates play worse....if the parents can't control themselves then they blow it for their kid. Simple. He reckons that even at that age the kids have got to 'man up' and if that means them having a pop at their parents then so be it!
Stop messing about Leonie, you've said yourself that this guy's behaviour is having a negative influence on the other team members. Ban him from the training sessions, and get your board to back you up. If you don't do something it will only get worse. No one player is more important than the rest of the side.
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My Girlfriend's son has been signed by a Premiership football club. They have zero tolerance on any misbehaviour by players OR parents. This is obviously a pretty high level (even for a 10 year old) but they don't mess about. No second chances, no excuses, toe the line or you're out. I asked the coach about it and he was pretty open about the thinking behind it. Any behaviour like that has a negative impact on everyone there, it doesn't matter how good the kid might be, he's making his team-mates play worse....if the parents can't control themselves then they blow it for their kid. Simple. He reckons that even at that age the kids have got to 'man up' and if that means them having a pop at their parents then so be it!
Stop messing about Leonie, you've said yourself that this guy's behaviour is having a negative influence on the other team members. Ban him from the training sessions, and get your board to back you up. If you don't do something it will only get worse. No one player is more important than the rest of the side.
this is high level too, but with the point of we only have 150 women in the whole country playing we dont have the easy choice so the board doesnt choose to back us and we have been left to find land..
i might have a nother chat with him in 2 weeks and if he has a big mouth i will tell him to sit upstairs where he cant watch and if he comes down his daughter has a so many week bann..?
good idea???
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If the board won't back you. Decline to coach/play for them.
I know this is tough in a country where cricket is not popular, but as an International, i'm sure your services will be in demand.
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this is high level too, but with the point of we only have 150 women in the whole country playing we dont have the easy choice so the board doesnt choose to back us and we have been left to find land..
Hokay, but which scenario is worse...
1. You b****ck him and his daughter stops playing or
2. You don't, and as a result o the noise six other girls stop playing
No brainer really...
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Sounds like a nasty piece of work, also sounds like someone who looks at a threat/punishment as an empty promise.
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Have you spoken to the daughter in private about it to see how she feels? If she feels embarrassed about it, she may not want to say anything, but if she doesn't like it either, she could talk to her parent and it would come across a lot stronger.
Also, if you flip it.No coaching lose her, keep parent lose more? You could lose 5 other players because of this one parents attitude.
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This is a hard and all too frequent situation, much of the advice posted us well worth trying. Something that has worked for me is to get the parent involved whether it be club or representative level cricket. I've found that this takes a little of their focus away from their child and they often become quieter as they start to have most interested in the team. They also, mostly, start to respect your role more & understand their negative actions, not that you'll get them telling you that. The old saying if keep your friends close & your enemies closer often applies in this situation.
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im glad to say, the father is hardly at trainings anymore, which has made her improve nd us be alot more comfertable with the situation!
thank you all for the tips and comments i apriciated it!
x
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if it was me, i would bitch slap him and use that as a threat, for one it would stop him through the fact he has just been completly emasculated and also two, bitch slaps hurt!
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if it was me, i would bitch slap him and use that as a threat, for one it would stop him through the fact he has just been completly emasculated and also two, bitch slaps hurt!
a self confessed pretty boy should know that right? OMG your behaving like a right dive *SLAP* yep can see that happening ;)
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a self confessed pretty boy should know that right? OMG your behaving like a right dive *SLAP* yep can see that happening ;)
Slapped to many times to recollect, but for a few different reasons! and i though my twitter went unnoticed ;)
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Slapped to many times to recollect, but for a few different reasons! and i though my twitter went unnoticed ;)
dive was supposed to be diva... uhg learn to spell leo... :(
ahahah yea gotta twitter stalk right? lol