Custom Bats Cricket Forum
General Cricket => Your Cricket => Topic started by: TGB1997 on April 15, 2016, 11:46:13 AM
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During my fairly short career of playing adult cricket I've heard some pretty funny sledges in the past. Of course there are also the classics and the more creative ones such as the Shane Warne incident with Darryl Cullinon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-OS6PrBz_U (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-OS6PrBz_U)) or the simple Jimmy Anderson response to Mitchell Johnson a few years back (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm6YPQeGSg0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm6YPQeGSg0))
One of the funniest ones I heard was last season when I came out to bat trying to save the game to make it a draw. A leg spinner was on and there were several fielders around the bat. I took my guard and looked around the field and one of the close fielders said "go on lad do it for the sponsors" which I found hilarious as I had all the same brand and line bat, pads and gloves. It wasn't meant to be funny but I couldn't help but have a little chuckle.
What are some of the best and funniest sledges that you've used or heard whilst playing cricket.
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The best I've heard while playing:
Leg spin bowler to our opening bat after he played and missed at the first 3/4 balls: "Shall I go and buy you a book on how to play leg spin?"
Next ball, our bat slog sweeps it into the adjacent canal for 6, walks down the pitch: "Shall I go and buy you a dog to go and fetch that ball?"
Brilliant. Had me in tears at the non-strikers end.
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Funniest one I've heard was when one of the slower runners between the wickets was batting in an intra club game. His sprint was basically a jog for everyone else!
A the ball went into the outfield and the batsman set off for an "easy 2". The fielder picks up the ball and the keeper shouts " Linford's end". Said batsman was run out by a considerable distance and everyone was laughing at the genius shout. It was made funnier when he came off asking who Linford was. Once we explained the Linford Christie joke he had a sense of humour failure...
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The best I've heard while playing:
Leg spin bowler to our opening bat after he played and missed at the first 3/4 balls: "Shall I go and buy you a book on how to play leg spin?"
Next ball, our bat slog sweeps it into the adjacent canal for 6, walks down the pitch: "Shall I go and buy you a dog to go and fetch that ball?"
Brilliant. Had me in tears at the non-strikers end.
That's a clever one to use, simple but brilliant :D
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Funniest one I've heard was when one of the slower runners between the wickets was batting in an intra club game. His sprint was basically a jog for everyone else!
A the ball went into the outfield and the batsman set off for an "easy 2". The fielder picks up the ball and the keeper shouts " Linford's end". Said batsman was run out by a considerable distance and everyone was laughing at the genius shout. It was made funnier when he came off asking who Linford was. Once we explained the Linford Christie joke he had a sense of humour failure...
I like that, very funny use of celeb names had me in stitches :D
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one of my favourites did involve a leg spinning forum member bowling to one of our batsmen who kept sweeping (it was his only shot against spin) and he will tell you better but it was something like "there is an offside you beeping know" to which our bat I think said (after sweeping another one from a foot outside off) "I don't need it"
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one of my favourites did involve a leg spinning forum member bowling to one of our batsmen who kept sweeping (it was his only shot against spin) and he will tell you better but it was something like "there is an offside you beeping know" to which our bat I think said (after sweeping another one from a foot outside off) "I don't need it"
That sounds like something I'd say.... And I bowl leggies.... Hmmm!
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Ive had the usual "do you want me to put a ******* bell in it" after playing and missing a few, favourite ive recieved is being continuously called The Terminator for use of Aero strippers and arm guard!
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I've posted this one in another thread but we had one guy who was batting against us and, in between balls, turned to the wicket keeper and asked him what his favourite Haribo was. Everyone was doubled up.
The one I'm most proud of that had the Umpire chuckling away was when I was batting at the non-striker's end playing against a bowler who I played mid-week cricket with. After my opening batting partner had played and missed at three in a row, he was walking back to his mark and said "tell you what Jay, it's doing a bit" to which I shot back "its gotta be the pitch..."
Sadly I tend to hear more abuse than out and out funnys, especially when I used to play in mid week Midlands T20 leagues. I love banter and funnys, can't stand any abuse, especially not at the level I play at...
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I've posted this one in another thread but we had one guy who was batting against us and, in between balls, turned to the wicket keeper and asked him what his favourite Haribo was. Everyone was doubled up.
The one I'm most proud of that had the Umpire chuckling away was when I was batting at the non-striker's end playing against a bowler who I played mid-week cricket with. After my opening batting partner had played and missed at three in a row, he was walking back to his mark and said "tell you what Jay, it's doing a bit" to which I shot back "its gotta be the pitch..."
Sadly I tend to hear more abuse than out and out funnys, especially when I used to play in mid week Midlands T20 leagues. I love banter and funnys, can't stand any abuse, especially not at the level I play at...
I agree with you on the abuse comments. It's not needed in amateur cricket. I played a game last season against my old team and not only was i sledged horrifically as well as mainly facing body line bowling attacks. Its not needed.
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had one directed at me when I was batting once which was genuinely pretty funny at the time and had all involved creasing
i was using a PiriPiri bat and the oppos spinner had turned a few past the outside edge, bowled yet another one that drifted in then spun past the outside edge. Quick as anything first slip just chirps, "too hooot, too spiiicy"
this was said around the time this advert was on tv as well...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVSLZJ6Pwag (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVSLZJ6Pwag)
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"He's seeing it like a skittle"
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Theres 2 i remember the one I thought was funny i am facing a county spinner the sky is overcast and it's hot the ball is pitching and turning and I haven't a clue after a few overs of this someone shouts bowl him a newspaper see if he can read that !
The other one is i walk to the crease and start to mark my guard and there's a shout from the opposistion Aussie overseas of: Hey mate there's S--T on the end of your bat as I take a look at the toe the slips all shout not that end the other F---ing end. charming
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A former West Indian fast bowler (short career) was giving the "glare" to a struggling batsman. After a few deliveries of being glared at the batsman said, "so...a third rate club league in the US - is this where sh*tty Test cricketers come to die?".. got a few chuckles out of the fielders, as well as a bruised rib
Dibbly dobbly bowler was swinging it miles, very very very slowly. After one ball swung from leg to outside off, he says "wow, that started outside leg!". The batsman replied "yeah...and it also started yesterday".
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"He was playing dowm the victoria line rather than the bakerloo with that one!" (relating to london underground train lines for those that are unaware
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one of my favourites did involve a leg spinning forum member bowling to one of our batsmen who kept sweeping (it was his only shot against spin) and he will tell you better but it was something like "there is an offside you beeping know" to which our bat I think said (after sweeping another one from a foot outside off) "I don't need it"
Am I correct in thinking I know who this would be @roco ??
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This is going back a few years. I was batting and the bowler was keeping it tight. Wicket keeper was giving him encouragement after each ball with 'good length'. After the fourth ball and the same 'good length' from the keeper, the slip shouted ' his wife doesn't think so!'. Had me in stitches
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Am I correct in thinking I know who this would be @roco ??
Maybe but he is half the man he used to be
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A sledge that backfired for an old team mate was when I was playing my old team in a cup final. He edged the ball just past the keeper and I gave chase from slip. Seeing it was me going after it, he shouted very much tongue in cheek 'oh it's Kenny no worries for 2'...
As he came back for 2 I unleashed one of my finest throws and ran him out with a direct hit from 50 yards!
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
where is the ignore button
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
Oh, you're a champion you are - I'd love to play you!
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
You're a complete ****
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I remember a sledge backfiring other year to the point the fielder got their "dick of the day" jumper
I hit a six onto a side wall of a building to which the fielder shouts "can't you clear that you big girl I did it mis hitting" next ball I cleared the building and the trees behind it
Haha
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
Idiotic, childish and outright cheating. Your captain must have the morals of Ian Huntley if he upheld the appeal for that
A sledge that backfired for an old team mate was when I was playing my old team in a cup final. He edged the ball just past the keeper and I gave chase from slip. Seeing it was me going after it, he shouted very much tongue in cheek 'oh it's Kenny no worries for 2'...
As he came back for 2 I unleashed one of my finest throws and ran him out with a direct hit from 50 yards!
Had a similar situation to this Ken, my batting partner hit the ball into the outfield and shouted 'two to him hes got a crap arm' about the 13 year old fielder sweeping the boundary. I know the guy and he wouldnt have meant it nastily, he was basically thinking out loud. Opposition captain rightly blew his lid and took his team off the field. I was showered and changed before a truce was called and we went back on where we eventually knocked off the remaining runs. Needless to say my batting partner was made to apologise and we actually got on very well with the skipper in question for the next few years
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
Um...that's a tad unsporting.
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I remember a sledge backfiring other year to the point the fielder got their "dick of the day" jumper
I hit a six onto a side wall of a building to which the fielder shouts "can't you clear that you big girl I did it mis hitting" next ball I cleared the building and the trees behind it
Haha
Hit a six into a neighbouring car park once and was offered 20 quid by the keeper if I did it again and hit a car... Hit a car next ball, never heard a chatty keeper go quiet so quickly!
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
I know you re getting stick for this and you shouldn't need anyone to tell you that it is wrong and very unsporting doing things like this!
But probably good time to start being a bit more sporting and turn over a new leaf this season fella?
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"He was playing dowm the victoria line rather than the bakerloo with that one!" (relating to london underground train lines for those that are unaware
Is that one of boycott's from commentary?
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not really a sledge but when batsmen are running between the wickets, i make funny noises and shout two,two for example..to confuse the (No Swearing Please) out of them....actally worked once getting the run out.....so funnyyy
One of the keepers in our league does that. It is extremely annoying! It didn't get us out though ...just made us more determined to put up a big score.
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Hit a six into a neighbouring car park once and was offered 20 quid by the keeper if I did it again and hit a car... Hit a car next ball, never heard a chatty keeper go quiet so quickly!
Hahahahahha
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A former West Indian fast bowler (short career) was giving the "glare" to a struggling batsman. After a few deliveries of being glared at the batsman said, "so...a third rate club league in the US - is this where sh*tty Test cricketers come to die?".. got a few chuckles out of the fielders, as well as a bruised rib
I just don't think that giving lip to a fast bowler is a good idea.
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One of the keepers in our league does that. It is extremely annoying! It didn't get us out though ...just made us more determined to put up a big score.
Tbh, I'd be surprised if there isn't a law against unsporting behaviour or something.. I'd expect an umpire to penalise any team doing this Type of thing as it's very unsporting.
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Tbh, I'd be surprised if there isn't a law against unsporting behaviour or something.. I'd expect an umpire to penalise any team doing this Type of thing as it's very unsporting.
I thought there was a law against imitating the batsmen as a fielder to try to get a run out
I think the topic was raised on one of those "you are the ump" pages on the guardian website
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Alternatively if both batsman arent looking and turn for another shout "great arm" has worked a couple of times to stop another run, causes some hesitation even when the fielder hasnt picked it up yet
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Alternatively if both batsman arent looking and turn for another shout "great arm" has worked a couple of times to stop another run, causes some hesitation even when the fielder hasnt picked it up yet
That's not as bad but still under hand, shouting that when it's been thrown (even badly) is fine
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That's not as bad but still under hand, shouting that when it's been thrown (even badly) is fine
Barely underhand! If the batsman aren't looking it's their fault! You'll be saying the bowler making the same effort noise for his quicker and slower balls will be underhand next!
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Barely underhand! If the batsman aren't looking it's their fault! You'll be saying the bowler making the same effort noise for his quicker and slower balls will be underhand next!
Slightly different but if you can't see that then there is no hope.
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Last season, when a really poor batsman kept swinging wildly at our tweaker's long hops "jeez guys, he's missed more cuts than Tiger Woods".
The season before, a somewhat chunky batsman blocking the crap outta it "chuck him up a lamb bhna, no way he'll resist that".
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Barely underhand! If the batsman aren't looking it's their fault! You'll be saying the bowler making the same effort noise for his quicker and slower balls will be underhand next!
Slower ball grunting is incredibly village. Grunting at all is poor behaviour tbh, we don't play women's tennis!
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One of the favourites when I was a Colt was when a batsmen blocked a lot and there was a shout of "he's got more blocks than legoland" hahaha
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In reference to a team mates bowling, said by a spectator. 'Whats he still bowling for, hes spraying it around like a mad womens p*ss'. Always gets a mention when we see fit.
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In reference to a team mates bowling, said by a spectator. 'Whats he still bowling for, hes spraying it around like a mad womens p*ss'. Always gets a mention when we see fit.
This is absolutely getting said this summer!! A genuine laugh out load moment!!
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My favourite was when a keeper shouted out "Ooooh I heard something there!"
I was nowhere near that ball - was a bit too good for me in honesty! So I turned round, and retorted with "The only thing you heard was your legs brushing together you fat b**tard" - Masterful.
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In reference to a team mates bowling, said by a spectator. 'Whats he still bowling for, hes spraying it around like a mad womens p*ss'. Always gets a mention when we see fit.
That's a belter hahaha
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My favourite was when a keeper shouted out "Ooooh I heard something there!"
I was nowhere near that ball - was a bit too good for me in honesty! So I turned round, and retorted with "The only thing you heard was your legs brushing together you fat b**tard" - Masterful.
That's personal abuse..
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My favourite was when a keeper shouted out "Ooooh I heard something there!"
I was nowhere near that ball - was a bit too good for me in honesty! So I turned round, and retorted with "The only thing you heard was your legs brushing together you fat b**tard" - Masterful.
So turning round and abusing one of the opposition is now masterful? The mind boggles...
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My favourite was when a keeper shouted out "Ooooh I heard something there!"
I was nowhere near that ball - was a bit too good for me in honesty! So I turned round, and retorted with "The only thing you heard was your legs brushing together you fat b**tard" - Masterful.
That awkward moment when you think your own tripe is "masterful"
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The worst ones are the best if you say stumps to the dumps and bails to Wales the batsman laugh at you but anything to put the batsman off right
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The fat sledge clearly hit a nerve.
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I find it interesting that most of the sledges posted are from people quoting themselves, none of which have been even remotely funny.
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The fat sledge clearly hit a nerve.
Not really, don't give a crap,if you think I'm fat now. Bet I was fitter than most people I'll ever play against pre knee injury and I'll be a darn sight richer too so enjoy working your whole life fella. :)
However, personal abuse isn't and shouldn't be acceptable. You wouldn't call a random person it at work and get away with it so why on a cricket field ?
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Not really, don't give a crap,if you think I'm fat now. Bet I was fitter than most people I'll ever play against pre knee injury and I'll be a darn sight richer too so enjoy working your whole life fella. :)
However, personal abuse isn't and shouldn't be acceptable. You wouldn't call a random person it at work and get away with it so why on a cricket field ?
Not sure the "I make more money than you do! Ner ner na ner ner" was needed.
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Not sure the "I make more money than you do! Ner ner na ner ner" was needed.
True.
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Not really, don't give a crap,if you think I'm fat now. Bet I was fitter than most people I'll ever play against pre knee injury and I'll be a darn sight richer too so enjoy working your whole life fella. :)
However, personal abuse isn't and shouldn't be acceptable. You wouldn't call a random person it at work and get away with it so why on a cricket field ?
Money can't buy you happiness though fella although it can buy bats, cocaine and hookers, which is basically the same thing, stay humble :)
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The fat sledge clearly hit a nerve.
I know I'm fat and ugly. Still shag birds though...
It doesn't hit a nerve having people comment about my weight (it barely gets through my thick skin, let alone the layer of fat...) I just find it unnecessary for a total stranger to take digs about people's appearance/physique on a cricket pitch.
As Aidy (did I get your name right, @ProCricketer1982?) has said you wouldn't do it at work, or walking down the street, so whys it acceptable on a sports field?
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when did best sledges turn into bragging about how much money you earn? @WalkingWicket37 anyone can pay for sex.
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when did best sledges turn into bragging about how much money you earn? @WalkingWicket37 anyone can pay for sex.
The cocaine and hookers line was clearly a joke...
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Come on guys - lets not ruin another thread. Deep breaths!
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Not really, don't give a crap,if you think I'm fat now. Bet I was fitter than most people I'll ever play against pre knee injury and I'll be a darn sight richer too so enjoy working your whole life fella. :)
However, personal abuse isn't and shouldn't be acceptable. You wouldn't call a random person it at work and get away with it so why on a cricket field ?
I personally think people are a little precious these days (I'm 24 btw). I never give anywhere near as good as I get, but if you're out there then it's fair game. If you get offended, then the other person as won. I just laugh it off or ignore them. If family or others not on the field are brought into it, then I'm against that in its entirety, but otherwise it's all fair game (unless you are being obviously racist or derogatory)
What I will never understand is if you hit someone on the football field, as in punch them either in a fight or worse still, hit them unexpectedly, you simply get suspended from playing for a few weeks. If you did that in the real world you'd go to jail and have a criminal conviction. That is the real mind boggler for me. Why does the sport field lessen the law?
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Oooooof, this is getting a little heavy. Remember when Michael Clarke said to Jimmy Anderson 'Get ready for a broken arm'
That was funny wasn't it? Wasn't it? Please?
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Being sledged just makes me giggle - well done, you've noticed I'm fat, again well done, you've noticed I'm not very good at batting, and finally - you're a genius and you've likened my batting in some way to an inability to play the piano or something.
At club level, much sledging is laughable, done by people who don't have the talent to back it up and sadly, often by a lot of young lads who think it's big and clever.
They look a bit daft usually.
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Being sledged just makes me giggle - well done, you've noticed I'm fat, again well done, you've noticed I'm not very good at batting, and finally - you're a genius and you've likened my batting in some way to an inability to play the piano or something.
At club level, much sledging is laughable, done by people who don't have the talent to back it up and sadly, often by a lot of young lads who think it's big and clever.
They look a bit daft usually.
Fully agree here
I only tend to sledge my mates from opposition teams as its a bit of fun
I remember getting sledged by a keeper once, we had bowled them out for 35 and we knocked it off for 1 in 7 overs but he was chirpy all the way
our opener hit a glorious straight drive over the bowlers head for six to " big edge that lads he cant middle anything"
then I was bounced and hit it 40 yards over ropes for 6 to "big slog that lads he only hits one way"
started game at 2 was in pub by 4 and they were still chuntering how we were lucky!!!!!!!!
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I'll be a darn sight richer too so enjoy working your whole life fella. :)
I know i'm late to the party on this one, but that's just embarrassing mate. anyone that has to assert there social stature by quoting their bank account obviously has some insecurities they need to face up to. you're better than that lad.
Massive cringe
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I once got sledged for being on here
I was batting against @wilkie113 s team and got abuse saying "oh its wilkies little friend lets make sure we keep him out here"
and so on for my entire 87 that day before being triggered
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you've noticed I'm not very good at batting
Say whaaaaaaat?! What kind of neanderthals are you playing against? Do they not appreciate raw talent when it's in front of them?!
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you've noticed I'm fat, again well done, you've noticed I'm not very good at batting,
they obviously are not used to a full figured elegant swash buckling style and are jealous of the ease at which the ball is despatched
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it's not really a sledge but the one that makes me laugh is going out to open in a 100 over match on Saturdays and letting the first couple of deliveries go outside off and someone behind the stumps shouts:
''all day long lads all day long ''
I dunno why it just makes me smile.There's still 49.3 overs left in the innings.
and sledging has got to be funny otherwise what's the point?
:)
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I once got sledged for being on here
I was batting against @wilkie113 s team and got abuse saying "oh its wilkies little friend lets make sure we keep him out here"
and so on for my entire 87 that day before being triggered
;)
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'shot a ball here lads'... er, yes, that's how batting works?
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I was batting against @wilkie113 s team and got abuse saying "oh its wilkies little friend lets make sure we keep him out here"
and so on for my entire 87 that day before being triggered
I'm impressed that anyone calls you Wilkie's 'little' mate. Comparisons between Chewbacca and Yoda spring to mind!!
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I'm impressed that anyone calls you Wilkie's 'little' mate. Comparisons between Chewbacca and Yoda spring to mind!!
I was waiting for someone to spot that
wilkie is not as hairy as Chewbacca same on you
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Who are you kidding?
SEPERATED AT BIRTH?
Roco
(http://i.imgur.com/gqwKOL2.jpg?1)
Chewbacca
(http://i.imgur.com/Gba7E9A.jpg?1)
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I knew that photo would come back to haunt me somehow, doesn't help my head is above the door either
that outfit was only for sky sports though
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Slightly off topic, but some of the "advice" given by fielders to their bowlers is also quite amusing. Here are a few good ones..
"No bad balls". Really? Who knew!
This was a funny interaction. After a bowler gets hooked for six.. First slip shouts "Pitch it up!" (loud enough for the batsman to hear)...Next ball is pitched up, smashed down the ground. Fielder says the same "pitch it up". Bowler replies "It was f****** pitched up! Are you f***** blind??"
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Slightly off topic, but some of the "advice" given by fielders to their bowlers is also quite amusing.
Does my head in, one old git at my club just shouts 'bowl at the stumps' all the time. It's always players who can't bowl to save their lives too!
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Full and straight lads, full and straight. To the part time leggie accidentally bowling half trackers.
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Full and straight lads, full and straight. To the part time leggie accidentally bowling half trackers.
"In the blockhole every ball" - the bloke who hasn't bowled since 2008 when he 'bowled' one that pitched on his own toes and didn't even reach the batsman
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I had one in a friendly last season when I accidentally bowled a full toss and the batsmen sliced it straight up in the air and was caught at mid off. Next ball one of my team mates came out with "keep bowling that good length T"
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I have, on occasions, when our bowler has pushed a couple down legside, offered some friendly advice of "this guy is right-handed mate..."
Usually gets a chuckle... :)
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I once got sledged for being on here
I was batting against @wilkie113 s team and got abuse saying "oh its wilkies little friend lets make sure we keep him out here"
and so on for my entire 87 that day before being triggered
Pretty sure our pro dropped you off me that day too :(
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Pretty sure our pro dropped you off me that day too :(
Good old nalaka good lad he was
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Not a game I played in, but oppo warming up have a gym bunny long blonde hair and in a singlet.
He's opening the batting and as bowler is at front of his run up for 1st ball, someone shouts "gladiator, ready!!!"
All 15 on the pitch need a minute to stop laughing!
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The cocaine and hookers line was clearly a joke...
@WalkingWicket37 I was referring to you constantly requiring to tell us how much sex you are having.
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@WalkingWicket37 I was referring to you constantly requiring to tell us how much sex you are having.
To be fair Tinder is £20 a year so you're right in a roundabouts kind of way... :D
Would have made more sense if you'd posted that comment in the thread about girlfriends where I'd made said comments though...
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Let's just all lighten up a bit - it's nearly the cricket season!
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I know I'm fat and ugly. Still shag birds though...
It doesn't hit a nerve having people comment about my weight (it barely gets through my thick skin, let alone the layer of fat...) I just find it unnecessary for a total stranger to take digs about people's appearance/physique on a cricket pitch.
As Aidy (did I get your name right, @ProCricketer1982?) has said you wouldn't do it at work, or walking down the street, so whys it acceptable on a sports field?
@WalkingWicket37 this was posted in this thread, I think every 5 posts or so, you feel the need to tell us. Is it just in case we still think you are a virgin?
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You try making light hearted comments and you get accused of God only knows what nowadays...
I did have my eye on a few hundred quid worth of Bas kit from Eclipse, but Hanif has done an excellent job of persuading me not to bother with that last comment which is bordering on a personal attack.
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@WalkingWicket37 seems you are softer than expected, loves to dish it out, any come back he crumbles. Head back to the tinder basement and take a box of tissues with you.
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Cricket
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@WalkingWicket37 seems you are softer than expected, loves to dish it out, any come back he crumbles. Head back to the tinder basement and take a box of tissues with you.
If I do that wouldn't I be hard?
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If I do that wouldn't I be hard?
@WalkingWicket37 maybe you have more issues than we first thought, not to worry you can get tablets for that.
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I'm pulling my massive shoe horn out and try and leaver this back to cricket!!
One of my favourites is Freddy Flintoff to Tino Best "mind the windows Tino" promptly followed by Tino getting cleaned up!!
See, back to cricket!!
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Jesus, another thread torn apart - didn't even have a retailer saying anything controversial on this one! haha
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lever it back over Sir Jock well done son!! :)
come on lads we should be looking for ward to the season, there's a million and one things to talk about
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Custom bats forum, the only place where making a joke, or having a laugh is throwned upon and someone questions your mentality! Wow.
Anyway back to a twister and serious and stay on topic!
Best sledge I heard was "deary me old chap, your not very good at cricket are you".......(hopefully that doesn't offend anyone)
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Custom bats forum, the only place where making a joke, or having a laugh is throwned upon and someone questions your mentality! Wow.
Anyway back to a twister and serious and stay on topic!
Best sledge I heard was "deary me old chap, your not very good at cricket are you".......(hopefully that doesn't offend anyone)
Whoever used that sledge has serious issues, bringing the game into disrepute like that, wanna be ashamed of themselves.
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Anyway back to a twister and serious and stay on topic!
Best sledge I heard was "deary me old chap, your not very good at cricket are you".......(hopefully that doesn't offend anyone)
Pure and utter slander!! I'm disgusted and appalled to my very core!!
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Jesus, another thread torn apart - didn't even have a retailer saying anything controversial on this one! haha
You might want to rethink that comment... :D :D :D
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You might want to rethink that comment... :D :D :D
But Eclipse All Sports aren't a forum sponsor and aren't referenced in Hanif's profile, so for all intensive purposes Adam is correct ;)
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Anyway back to a twister and serious and stay on topic!
Best sledge I heard was "deary me old chap, your not very good at cricket are you".......(hopefully that doesn't offend anyone)
Offended by the incorrect grammar ! ;)
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Whether it's true or not the best one I heard involved Merv Hughes and a famous Pakistani player (possibly Inzi), every time Merv followed through his bowling run up right to the batsmans nose he was greeted with "Bus driver, you look like fat bus driver".
Merv promptly sent his stumps flying and continued on his follow through right to the gate in the picket fence to the dressing room steps, he stayed there with his hand on top of the gate and as the departing batsman approached piped up "tickets please!"
This and the Ormond\Waugh exchange.
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Whether it's true or not the best one I heard involved Merv Hughes and a famous Pakistani player (possibly Inzi), every time Merv followed through his bowling run up right to the batsmans nose he was greeted with "Bus driver, you look like fat bus driver".
Merv promptly sent his stumps flying and continued on his follow through right to the gate in the picket fence to the dressing room steps, he stayed there with his hand on top of the gate and as the departing batsman approached piped up "tickets please!"
This and the Ormond\Waugh exchange.
That was vs Javed Miandad. Inzi wasn't really much of a talker, and was also far too young to play with Merv.
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That was vs Javed Miandad. Inzi wasn't really much of a talker, and was also far too young to play with Merv.
Cheers.
Still amuses me to the day.
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KP at the non strikers describing Yuvraj as "Very slow, no turn" to his batting partner.
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Not so much a sledge as a statement of intent. I'm sure I read in Simon Hughes' excellent book - 'A Lot of Hard Yakka' that he had a pretty untalented but very eccentric teammate in the Middx 2nd XI called Winky Robbins. He came up against a young, rampant and vocal Merv Hughes in an innocuous game and afer a few volleys of abuse, Winky announced loudly to Merv - "I'm going to (No Swearing Please) you all round the park, you hairy blighter"
One of the few times I believe Merv was speechless!
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KP at the non strikers describing Yuvraj as "Very slow, no turn" to his batting partner.
That would have been even better if KP didn't have an uncanny knack for getting out to rubbish left-arm spinners.
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an average sledge with an above average comeback that had no comeback!
our first slip said to the batsman who had played and missed umpteen times "You're just not very good are you, mate?" to which his proudly delivered retort was "No, but i've been up all night smashing a girl that is WAY out of my league, so i'll take not being very good today!"
well played, Sir!
p.s. apologies for the sexual reference :D - it was on a cricket field though!
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Common in our club we'll talk about the batsman in earshot but not directly to him, every now and then the batsman will pipe up and we celebrate with "that's a nibble"
Enjoyable times :)