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Equipment => Bats => Topic started by: FattusCattus on October 25, 2016, 07:46:51 AM

Title: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 25, 2016, 07:46:51 AM
Some of us could bat with a sausage!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Stuey on October 25, 2016, 07:51:00 AM
What would be the best sausage to bat with......or is that another thread ?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 25, 2016, 07:56:38 AM
My guess would be an enormous Salami - it would help a lot with cuts and pulls, a chipolata is not going to cut the mustard!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: petehosk on October 25, 2016, 11:30:26 AM
Some of us could bat with a sausage!

You know that the "bat" would slowly disappear if you batted for long!
All that running between the wickets makes us hungry, so batting with a sausage would be the worst thing to bat with!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Churchy1989 on October 25, 2016, 09:23:38 PM
You know that the "bat" would slowly disappear if you batted for long!
All that running between the wickets makes us hungry, so batting with a sausage would be the worst thing to bat with!

Not for slimus cattius
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Stuey on October 26, 2016, 07:17:34 AM
Has to be a bratwurst, with a long meaty middle.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Kulli on October 26, 2016, 07:30:43 AM
Easier or harder than with a stick of rhubarb?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 26, 2016, 07:32:26 AM
Danish Salami - now that is all middle!!!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: joeljonno on October 26, 2016, 11:06:09 AM
Id use a Cumberland ring. More hitting surface area.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Alvaro on October 26, 2016, 11:08:32 AM
A guy I knew opened the batting for Cumberland. He was a ringer.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Boondougal on October 26, 2016, 11:14:56 AM
My Scottish friends are always going on about square sausage.... it has a more traditional profile with thinner edges but you get a wider face with the "Meat" being well distributed... it makes it more forgiving for the technically less adapt i believe. Its a good starter sausage
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: alexhilly1492 on October 26, 2016, 11:17:56 AM
Why not add a "Scuff sheet", and use a sausage roll or does that increase performance like the aluminium bat fiasco....
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Kulli on October 26, 2016, 11:27:23 AM
I think a Chorizo would go pretty well, got that hard layer on the outside but soft and lighter underneath, bound to ping like crazy.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Alvaro on October 26, 2016, 11:39:05 AM
I think a Chorizo would go pretty well, got that hard layer on the outside but soft and lighter underneath, bound to ping like crazy.

It's easy to over oil a chorizo - leeches everywhere in the heat if you're not careful.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Batbuddy99 on October 26, 2016, 11:39:46 AM
What the f*ck am I reading?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Stuey on October 26, 2016, 01:04:06 PM
What the f*ck am I reading?
Not sure but it's giving me a chuckle
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 26, 2016, 03:13:26 PM
What about two Pepperami laminated together - that would make quite a stiff weapon!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: tom line on October 26, 2016, 04:19:22 PM
Question is what's sausage would have the best bow?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Stuey on October 26, 2016, 04:30:51 PM
Your bog standard Lincolnshire has a decent bow once kiln dried
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Sivlar13 on October 26, 2016, 06:25:32 PM
In terms of bow, you'd look no further than a Cumberland. If anything that's got an extreme bow.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Number 11 on October 26, 2016, 06:41:54 PM
Middle order are best off with a good quality beef sausage. Openers will need something more refined like venison.
With tail enders, every little bit helps so a spicy Etruscan Chorizo sausage although if you're off form everything will be frankfurters.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Sivlar13 on October 26, 2016, 06:46:18 PM
It is all irrelevant any way as next year the ICC will out law anything bigger than a chippolata

Maximum 36mm girth.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: petehosk on October 26, 2016, 06:47:10 PM
What about two Pepperami laminated together - that would make quite a stiff weapon!

Come on! we all know that laminates are illegal!! Jeez!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Alvaro on October 26, 2016, 07:04:32 PM
Essex all use reskinned Warsop saveloys
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 26, 2016, 08:47:19 PM
2 PAGES OF THIS!!!  THE   BEST   THREAD   EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

You are all absolute dears for coming on my sausage journey with me!!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: edge on October 26, 2016, 08:52:59 PM
2 PAGES OF THIS!!!  THE   BEST   THREAD   EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

You are all absolute dears for coming on my sausage journey with me!!
That is begging for a TV food show - 'Fattus' Sausage Journey'! Rumours already that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is being lined up as joint host.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: tom line on October 26, 2016, 08:59:30 PM
Bruce's swingers would slice a soft sausage in half, would need to have a good skin for sure
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Johnny on October 26, 2016, 09:02:44 PM
http://www.kayahara.ca/2012/06/canadian-sausage-for-canada-day/ (http://www.kayahara.ca/2012/06/canadian-sausage-for-canada-day/)
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 26, 2016, 09:12:49 PM
That is begging for a TV food show - 'Fattus' Sausage Journey'! Rumours already that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is being lined up as joint host.

Pffftt!  I wouldn't put my sausage in the hands of that long-haired fop!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: avkrish on October 27, 2016, 05:25:12 AM
2 PAGES OF THIS!!!  THE   BEST   THREAD   EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

You are all absolute dears for coming on my sausage journey with me!!

Hope this will go on like the Best Bat Grains Competition and Vintage Bats threads!!!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Stuey on October 27, 2016, 07:47:18 AM
In the preparation process would frying retain too much moisture, would grilling give a lighter pick up?
And what oil should I use.....Olive or good old lard? 
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Kulli on October 27, 2016, 07:49:36 AM
Presumably we're all using square fingered gloves, nobody wants to see sausage on sausage action.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: WalkingWicket37 on October 27, 2016, 08:09:03 AM
What about a square sausage, I imagine using one of those would be a bit like using a mongoose!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: tom line on October 27, 2016, 08:10:31 AM
In the preparation process would frying retain too much moisture, would grilling give a lighter pick up?
And what oil should I use.....Olive or good old lard? 

What about when we are seasoning the sausage clefts? What's the best way do we stick to good old salt and pepper or is there a secret?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: trypewriter on October 27, 2016, 08:36:06 AM
Square sausage is more correctly called 'Lorne Sausage'. Were you to bat with one of those and thrash extravagantly across the line you would doubtless be referred to as a 'Lorne Mower'.

Packaging of the sausages will be important. Don't fall into the trap of the TV (television, not transvestite) chef who had a picture of himself on his own brand sausages, with the caption below reading: (No Swearing Please) with fork'.

I'm looking forward to the debates on: Kashmiri sausage, Australian sausage, what percentage of black pudding is allowed in the sausage, Harrow sausages, is this burst sausage repairable? How can you tell if your sausage is a banger? Your first sausage, the sausage that slipped through your fingers, the elusive talisman sausage, Don Bradman's sausage, storm damaged sausage...
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: FattusCattus on October 27, 2016, 09:18:51 AM
@Buzz   @tim2000s  @all the other mods:

Surely now this thread deserves a section all of it's own - it's clearly going to run and run?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Chalkie on October 27, 2016, 09:42:58 AM
Loving this thread.

Maybe someone could come up with a sausage grading system, and are there any examples of "english sausage nurtured in ....."?

Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Number 11 on October 27, 2016, 09:50:30 AM
In the preparation process would frying retain too much moisture, would grilling give a lighter pick up?
And what oil should I use.....Olive or good old lard?

Moisture retention is a must, your average sausage mustn't dry out or it becomes useless, so definitely fry.
Use lard, much preferred by traditionalists and improves the rebound.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Mattsky on October 27, 2016, 10:12:08 AM
And then, inevitably, arousing snapshots of sausage porn will be circulated. Ogle the packed grains in that lithe vegetarian Lincolnshire! Phwoarrrr at the fulsome profile of the mighty Cumberland! Gag on the sheer heft of that monstrous knackwurst! And so on.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: alexhilly1492 on October 27, 2016, 11:23:48 AM
What about pigs in blankets? Just like a laminate
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: GoodLeave on October 27, 2016, 01:31:45 PM
Can we have a Buzz Kitchen Clinic on this?

I've always been a little unsure on how I'm gripping my sausage. I feel like I'm gripping too tightly. Too bottom hand dominant.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Johnny on October 27, 2016, 02:52:07 PM
@GoodLeave wow, you need 2 hands?
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: GoodLeave on October 27, 2016, 03:56:14 PM
@GoodLeave wow, you need 2 hands?

@Johnny Yes. It's a blessing and a curse. I find my sausage to be adept at playing the more brutal, thrusting strokes but not the dainty dabs and drop-and-runs.

I've been practicing my MS Dhoni "Helicopter" shot. Thought I've no idea what I'm going to call my variation. Perhaps I could name it after those big towers with the blades that turn to grind flour? The name escapes me.
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: WalkingWicket37 on October 27, 2016, 07:42:13 PM
@GoodLeave "the Windmill"  :D
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: GoodLeave on October 27, 2016, 07:56:31 PM
@GoodLeave "the Windmill"  :D

I'm glad you said it  ;)
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: Churchy1989 on October 28, 2016, 02:22:12 PM
There is a lad at my club, training to be a 'Marine' he does a 'windmill' but not with the bat!

Thought i would share that info!
Title: Re: Batting with a sausage
Post by: dcullen8 on October 28, 2016, 02:32:50 PM
Sounds about right, they arent all their those marine types!