South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
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Author Topic: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!  (Read 3671 times)

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Talisman

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South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« on: January 12, 2009, 03:38:25 PM »
I was talking to a very close friend of mine in the Marine Settlement Disaster Planning Group who has just been leaked a top secret report into the alarmingly huge increase in houses high in hills overlooking small towns in South Devon simply sliding away to oblivion.

This horrific event may be caused by the sheer weight of some houses on their foundations coupled with electric tools that cause vibrations that weaken the already over stressed foundations. He said that the worst part of the house slipping off the hill into the water was not the slow painful death of the occupants trapped in the house but the unwillingness of friends and family's to help avoid the causes.

With this in mind myself and Captain Stormin Norbin of the Salix Relocation Team are prepared to offer free removal and homes for any quantity of clefts and good quality tools that may be stored in such homes. Captain Norbin will also offer a free guide to handle stiffness and moisture content reporting with every removal.

If you or any friends are affected by this sudden and saddening news please contact us asap, "We're ready to believe you"
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slogger02

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2009, 04:39:06 PM »
your right, i think we are sinking, nothing less than a couple of inches of water everywhere!
i may have to let you take my stock of bats away from me :'(
« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 04:57:10 PM by slogger02 »
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Talisman

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2009, 05:27:03 PM »
Don't panic Slogger02, we are able to help but will have to levy a small charge per bat of £10. By my calcualtions that means you will need to find £420, cash, used notes....
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SAF Bats

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2009, 05:45:47 PM »
Not since the great tragedy of the "Parson and Clark" and their immortalization in the Red Cliffs of Holcombe has Devon been this close to another tragedy by the sea.  Act now, if not you, for the Willow!!!!!!!!!
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Redback Cricket

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2009, 07:10:04 PM »
Well it cant be anything to do with me.... all i have is super duper light weight, low density willow...  :D
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FattusCattus

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2009, 07:53:48 PM »
Yeah - you're building a raft aren't you Gary!
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Str8bat

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Re: South Devon Flood Warning!!!!
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2009, 10:00:03 PM »
If the raft is headed across the English channel towards France I can provide rescue services. I also know of a pristine cricket ground not far from the landing point on the french side.
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