Funniest cricket story
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alexhilly1492

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Funniest cricket story
« on: June 16, 2020, 07:15:07 PM »
Given all the doom and gloom in the world at the minute and all the negativity all over the place i thought it was about time we had a more lighthearted thread,

whats your funniest cricketing story?

can be something you've witnessed or were actually part of!
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mohawks94

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2020, 10:19:33 PM »
Ashwin, of X Factor fame, plays at Beaconsfield...

Pre season last year playing for the 4s, he's gone out to bat in big trainers that you'd expect to see on a teenage girl trying to be edgy at a rave and a Hawaiian shirt under his whites.

Third ball he finally laid bat on ball, hit it straight up in the air to point, who dropped one of the easiest catches I've ever seen, but Ashwin and the non-striker are by this stage both at the same end. So both start running to the keepers end, realise they've both set off and both turn round again, in the meantime it's taken two attempts to complete the run out. As soon as we'd seen him going in, all the 1s who weren't batting had gone to watch and certainly weren't disappointed.
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SOULMAN1012

Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2020, 10:30:05 PM »
Had a few bit one that stands out was a few years back now when I first joined my current club going out to open the batting and batting at 2 as normal and I said to my opening partner “bloody hell keeper is a long way back” opener said yea bloody hell, turned to look at the bowler to see a young lad about 14/15 and quite short and just says oh it’s that wind up. 1st ball they will all stand miles back as he bowls 45mph, have a laugh and then stand up. Oh ok I say to myself.

So umpire says play in ambles this young lad and I think to myself bloody hell JD was right. Nope this flash of red fly’s down pitches half way down the track jags in takes the gloves of my opening partner, knocks him on his (No Swearing Please) and ball balloons to gully.

Opening partner gets up, says got that a bit wrong and trudges off.

Blower then proceeds to bowl a 12/14 ball over almost hitting his toes or bowling beamers and is told he can’t bowl any more by the umpire. No3 and myself put on 320 partnership for the 3rd wicket with no more wickets in our innings.
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blindowl

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2020, 04:31:52 PM »
Quote from: SOULMAN1012 on June 16, 2020, 10:30:05 PM
Had a few bit one that stands out was a few years back now when I first joined my current club going out to open the batting and batting at 2 as normal and I said to my opening partner “bloody hell keeper is a long way back” opener said yea bloody hell, turned to look at the bowler to see a young lad about 14/15 and quite short and just says oh it’s that wind up. 1st ball they will all stand miles back as he bowls 45mph, have a laugh and then stand up. Oh ok I say to myself.

So umpire says play in ambles this young lad and I think to myself bloody hell JD was right. Nope this flash of red fly’s down pitches half way down the track jags in takes the gloves of my opening partner, knocks him on his (No Swearing Please) and ball balloons to gully.

Opening partner gets up, says got that a bit wrong and trudges off.

Blower then proceeds to bowl a 12/14 ball over almost hitting his toes or bowling beamers and is told he can’t bowl any more by the umpire. No3 and myself put on 320 partnership for the 3rd wicket with no more wickets in our innings.

hahaha  loving that!
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Manormanic

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2020, 09:55:05 PM »
Playing away at Chester Uni.  We bat first, make a par score. Their skipper comes over at tea apologetic because he's just done the batting order and realised he had just fielded 60 overs with 12 men. Not one player on either side had noticed.
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Jimbo

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2020, 10:32:45 PM »
Quote from: Manormanic on June 18, 2020, 09:55:05 PM
Playing away at Chester Uni.  We bat first, make a par score. Their skipper comes over at tea apologetic because he's just done the batting order and realised he had just fielded 60 overs with 12 men. Not one player on either side had noticed.

Someone had been in the student union for "a couple" of pre-game beverages 😂
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Boondougal

Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2020, 12:34:29 PM »
we had the classic disappearing player... batting first put on an ok total but need to be on it in the field from ball one to make sure it stays competitive. 5 mins before taking the field we realised our spin king was missing (he usually doesn't have a tea anyway), his bag was in the changing room so definitely not done a runner. Young lad was sent at pace to see if he was sat in the car but he quickly returned to say he wasn't. Phone ringing out to voice mail so a Quick search of the club house and round the side etc but time ran out and we had to join the umpires on he field with 10 men - steam coming out of the captains ears. They get off to a flyer - every ball hitting the gap left by not having a 11. 9 overs in he suddenly appears at the edge of the outfield in a state of semi dress waving asking to come on the field. You can imagine the "banter" but with an edge of concern - assuming something had happened and he had needed to deal with it in private somewhere. But no, he had sat in his car, reclined the seat to get 5 mins of shut eye and just instantly fell asleep (he did work nights a taxi driver to be fair and was known to have a nap)... turns out the young lad had only ran to the corner of the car park nearest the club house, looked over at the guys car and as he didn't see him "sat" in the car though the window just assumed he wasn't in there. Bit of tense drinks break on the field that one.
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Manormanic

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2020, 01:16:08 PM »
Quote from: Jimbo on June 18, 2020, 10:32:45 PM
Someone had been in the student union for "a couple" of pre-game beverages 😂

You'd think that but it was actually a pretty decent standard Uni 1st XI game - we had five guys who made it at least as far as County 2's including a guy who played for Barbados, and they had three who were on County books. 
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Jimbo

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2020, 03:32:02 PM »
Quote from: Manormanic on June 19, 2020, 01:16:08 PM
You'd think that but it was actually a pretty decent standard Uni 1st XI game - we had five guys who made it at least as far as County 2's including a guy who played for Barbados, and they had three who were on County books.

So they should all be good enough to play after a few pints 😅
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ABello1

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2020, 10:31:08 AM »
Playing a Sunday Friendly time game at Sefton Park Liverpool lad is on 99 and gets a bit nervous and pats a couple of overs back captain pacing about  and decides to declare as the chips for tea where getting cold and the biggest tantrum ever seen bat kit flying everywhere and tirade of abuse   am sure the captain tried to make him by a jug    for avoidence of a hundred
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KettonJake

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2020, 12:36:14 PM »
About 16/17 years ago now, playing in a junior game at my first club, we were playing against a small local village club who had a couple of cricketers but the rest of the team were just lads from the village helping their mates put a team out. Needless to say we won very easily but i'll never forget their enigmatic number 11 coming out to bat.

He strolled out with the classic swagger, bat over the shoulder and lots of bravado, but with black trainers and a helmet about 3 sizes too big bobbing around on his head. He stood at the crease with his bat held high like Babe Ruth waiting to smite whatever our bowler sent down. The umpire asked if he wanted a guard and he joyfully grabbed his box and shimmied it around whilst proclaiming 'no thanks I've got one already'

At this point our bowler decides he's going to come around the wicket. The umpire informs our new friend of this and he stands there with a puzzled look on his face. After a few seconds he swaps his stance from right handed to left handed and naturally would not be told by us players or the umpires that he didn't have to. He was having none of it and insisted we get on with bowling at him.

I think he lasted 3 balls, all absolutely huge fresh air swipes nowhere near the ball before being cleaned up. He looked so angry as well, like we'd just robbed him of a ton!
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brokenbat

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2020, 03:17:20 PM »
My first game on turf - couldn’t figure out how to use my spikes to mark my guard. Kept getting the angle wrong. Ended up digging a huge trench with no discernible line ... didn’t help that I was the opening batsman - was a pain for every batsman that followed
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Jaffa

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2020, 03:28:21 PM »
I heard a story of when one of our lads was on tour in the UK and he was playing for the first time on a grass wicket.

While taking his guard, apparently you could see him look confused. He looked towards the pavilion shouted, "Chalk please!"
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Bats_Entertainment

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2020, 06:23:03 PM »
In one of Graeme Fowler's books it is, erm, revealed that Ian Botham bowled his last bowl in first-class cricket with his chap out.

It was the first I'd heard of it, and I tend to take all Botham-related stories with a pinch of salt.  Nevertheless, amd without condoning wholesale indecent exposure in cricket matches,  I'd have probably laughed if I'd been there.

« Last Edit: September 08, 2020, 06:34:16 PM by Bats_Entertainment »
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Bats_Entertainment

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Re: Funniest cricket story
« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2020, 06:42:18 PM »
Quote from: Jaffa on September 08, 2020, 03:28:21 PM
I heard a story of when one of our lads was on tour in the UK and he was playing for the first time on a grass wicket.

While taking his guard, apparently you could see him look confused. He looked towards the pavilion shouted, "Chalk please!"

On this this kind of theme... A lad sitting with me waiting to bat in a 4ths game last year turned to me, pointed to his bat handle, and asked, "Is it okay to use a SH bat?"

I must admit, I found it more depressing than funny at the time.
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