I'm looking forward to his autobiography, can guess at an abridged version though.
Lived in SA
Played cricket - was good at it.
Fell out with a bloke at a club
Moved to England to play cricket, was really good at it.
Signed for Notts.
Played for England, I'm the dogs dangleies.
Got stupid hairstyle - I'm a celebrity.
Fell out with everyone at Notts - moved to Hampshire.
Carried on playing for England, I am #KPGenius
Sent texts to South Africans slagging off Strauss, got dropped.
Fake apology, played for England again.
Everyone at Hampshire hates me, Surrey pay more anyway.
Dropped from England, Strauss said I'm a c**t.
Playing only T20, earning loads.