Certainly well produced and the detailing points towards a good designer. But the influences have come from within and should maybe be a little braver. It's true that sometimes it's good to have a little homage to pre existing artwork with little purpose made design cues.
In this instance do they really do enough to separate you from the masses... Place the design not on white paper but on a shelf with many and how is the eye is drawn?
The second design shows the most promise but is a little safe.
This to a point is somewhat irrelevant as the foundation work must be planned and be thorough and Tom has highlighted something fundamental that needs the most attention.