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[uknsaunders]

I know Nick ( @uknsaunders ) far to well, there he is explaining how he bowls the carom ball

I think I was explaining why I don't get as much spin as I should as the release position is wrong and I end up undercutting it.

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[tim2000s]

I think my favourite moment was turning up 2 hours late and realising for the past two hours everyone had been using a junior pitch length....

... Then making everyone move to a correct length and throwing everyone run up and pitch off.


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[Six Sixes Cricket]

Here are a few more pics.

Nick explains how spin bowling is very much like making love to a beautiful woman:



Fattus checks for armpit hair whilst airing his soon to be replaced abdominal guard:



Some people lean against a wall, seemingly oblivious to the fact a net is going on:




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Orher than nick in the first and the cattus, who is everyone else? Would be nice to put name to pics

[FattusCattus]

Don't worry - some pen portraits on their way. This will tell you all you need to know.

[tim2000s]

Don't know about anyone else, but I am starting to feel yesterday now, and I wasn't there for the whole 4 hours!


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[FattusCattus]

That is your lack of carbs showing. That and the fact that you were performing in a very heavy pair of flares, which must have taken it out of you!

[FattusCattus]

So - let me introduce you to our new chums -

On the left in the first pic, your eyes are not deceiving you, this isn't Mr Miyagi - this is @ppccopener AKA 'Carlo the Jackal'. This pocket-sized portion of batting excellence has obviously played on some decent decks in his time, as he is what might be politely described as a back-foot player. Hanging on the back foot, he waited to pounce on anything short, or long-hoppish. In a break from tradition, he also went back to good length balls too!  Like a happy little pirate, he wielded his bat like a cutlass, strongly favouring the cut and the pull - drives were a rare treat and strictly rationed. Sporting a natty pair of batting specs, he squinted down the wicket with his little face all crumpled up, concentrated fiercely and the wide variety of deliveries he was receiving. He had a certificate from his mum excusing him from bowling, so he made sweet love to the bowling machine for much of the afternoon.

Do not adjust your sets, the cheeky little homunculus on the right is not far away, @uknsaunders really is that size and shape. He is a very tidy purveyor of (what he calls) left arm spin. Always on the money, he kept banging away on a tight line and length with subtle variation. I say subtle, as the variations in delivery were so delicate many of us did not spot them, but he clarified to all of us on many occasions that the variation were there. On occasion he extracted turn and bounce from the surface, often without the use of a step-ladder. A willing and cheerful netter, he was the bowling workhouse - or rather pit pony. Sadly, like many spectators, I missed his batting. Was voted by the group as person most likely to say 'carrom'.

[FattusCattus]

We shall gloss over the sexual tyrannosaurus showing off his package in the second pic and move on to pic 3.


On the left we have Small (but perfectly formed) Paul - better known as @Batbuddy99 's dad. A charming man, who had no prior experience of us nerds, but threw himself wholeheartedly into the day and bowled tirelessly. He earned my respect and admiration for marking out his run-up with a monogrammed hankerchief - you just can;t buy that sort of class you know! He bowled low-slung dobbers that were very accurate, and many batters said he was awkward to face - he resisted the urge to pepper us with his bouncers. It was noted that as time went on, he was frequently lured out of the nets to start looking at everyone elses wood!  With the bat he was 'watchful' and did have a tendency to walk across his stumps but he did give us the charge a couple of times, and was greeted first up with a bouncer from his son!

Next we have @simonmay5 's mate 'Tommo'. He's not a member on here, but I will say he charged up to the wicket like a demented locomotive, elbows and knees pumping like pistons and his cheeks blown up like a startled puffer-fish. He sent down a few fairly rapid deliveries, but did mix in the odd full bunger and beamer, which I safely negotiated from square leg. A thoroughly nice lad though, who does think that Simon may have a bit of a bat-fetish problem.

[FattusCattus]

And next - those aren't his pasty legs, he was actually wearing a body-stocking - it's @WalkingWicket37 himself.  Now he purveys something he calls 'offspin'. He bustles in from a longish run up, and then something extraordinary happens - for those of you who remember the Paul Adams 'frog in a blender' action - Cam's can only be described as 'a turtle having a sh*t'. His shoulders hunch up, his head squats down into his neck, his face contorts, his arms whirl and out of it all comes the ball! As a deception to confuse the batsman, it is tremendous, but I suspect serious back trouble beckons.  With the bat he was certainly bristling with intent, no matter what delivery was sent down, he assayed either a violent blow over cow or a slap over the top. This image is only spoilt by the fact that it took 10 minutes and a change of two different bats before he finally connected with one - legend!

Next to Cam is @Chalkie or - 'you can call me Al'. A tall, thin reed of a man he bowled sharpish seamers, angled in at the stumps. Curiously, he tried 3 different lengths of run-up, with the same result of each one. Looks like he'd be a handful on a bouncy pitch due to his height, don;t let the mild-mannered demeanor and the specs fool you, he followed up every short delivery by growling 'try using yer friggin' bat ass-wipe!' - you know what these fast and nasties are like.  With the bat he was more sedate and circumspect - he certainly didn't like dibbly-dobbly little inswingers and did look to hit over the top when he could, which only succeeded in knocking in the top edge of his bat!

[FattusCattus]

Those not pictured include -

@Batbuddy99 , a young, keen whippersnapper of a lad. His callow, willowy frame belied the paceman lurking inside. He bowled slingy seam-up on a very tight line, some of which cut in towards leg slightly. Like so many young men, unhardened by national service and public school naked initiation-rites, he did tire after a while, and flung a few into the side netting - but after a can of Vimto and a Curly-Wurly, he returned to the fray sharper than ever and cleaned a few people up. One for the future Mr Strauss!!!


Roco da Pixie - the off-spinning allrounder with fierce competitive spirit, cunning flight,guile and as he constantly reminded us - ONLY 2 BATS (heretic!!! burn him, burn him). He bowls lovely loopy offies on a very good line and I would imagine would be hard to get away. A cricketing purist, he uses a Salix and bats in a cravat, with an MCC tie holding up his creamy flannels. He seems to object to being mooed from outside the off stump through cow, and believes bowling machines to be an abomination and will have no truck with them. With the bat, he is a cautious builder of an innings, looking to rotate the strike - although he does like to 'get on with it' to deliveries wide of the off stump.


@petehosk  - nothing more to say - the man, the myth the legend brought more bats than overs he bowled, spent a lot of time stroking other peoples wood, and at one point, rather disturbingly disappeared off to the toilets for half an hour with Simon's Screaming Cat.


@simonmay5 - Every time he bats, he's in a different net to me, so I can't describe it. Another who bought many, many bats with him, then spent most of his time fingering everyone elses. Simon doesn't bowl any more, so when he got bored, he took his bff Tommo into the indoor arena and they played with each other for a while - it was like watching two colts frisking about on the outfield!

[tom line]

Having personally faced 'tommo' I can vouch for him being rapid. Can't say that was the nicest thing to do on an inconsistent pitch to say the least

[FattusCattus]

It's alright - I got my own back when he batted!!

All hail the benders!

[ppccopener]

Well done Cattus maybe we can all do it again? And Cam can achieve his goal of offloading some bats rather than coming back with yet more.Blinding coffin to keep them in thou-legendary!

[Batbuddy99]

Great read Fattus!!
Very comedic insights about everyone!!


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[WalkingWicket37]

Yes, I went with the intention of selling some bats, I came home with more bats than I left with and a new coffin  to keep them in. That took some explaining when I got home! 

Despite the camera issues I had, I'm hopjng at least one video saved before the recordings stopped saving. I'll know at some stage througj the week and will upload any footage I have