Custom Bats Cricket Forum
General Cricket => Your Cricket => Topic started by: Jagminder on April 27, 2012, 06:53:08 PM
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Please share the funny verbal exchanges you been part of on a cricket field.
This should make a good read (Hopefully).
I will start of with one - We call batsmen "Dr.WhyBother" ones who can't connect.
Jag.
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Or old pro used to lay into anyone who batted below 6 and didn't bowl by asking them "what were they here to do, dive the bus???" Someone came out wearing an "Aussie youth 'A'" shirt and got asked if he brought it in woolworths.
Funny guy.
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Or old pro used to lay into anyone who batted below 6 and didn't bowl by asking them "what were they here to do, dive the bus???" Someone came out wearing an "Aussie youth 'A'" shirt and got asked if he brought it in woolworths.
Funny guy.
Good ones. :D
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One of our old players knew the batswoman knew aswell this batswoman had a liking for her, so she stood as close as was aloud by the umpire and said whats your name luv, and winked. next ball she was gone.
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One side that we played against last year had some very entertaining banter amongst themselves when fielding.
They were giving each other grief if they happened to drop the ball while returning it to the bowler. One guy dropped the ball, and claimed it was due to a poor throw, but one of his very insensitive teammates shouted: 'I heard you let Linda (obviously an ex) slip through your fingers as well.'
This did not go down well with the guy in question, and I thought things might go a bit further, especially when, later on, the guy who had dropped the ball was moaning that he hadn't been selected to keep wicket.
'I'm not called "The Cat' for nothing you know.' he remonstrated.
The same wag called out: 'We know all about that - you're called the cat because you had a (rhymes with hit) behind the sightscreen.'
Sometimes it really is worth umpiring... :D
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One side that we played against last year had some very entertaining banter amongst themselves when fielding.
They were giving each other grief if they happened to drop the ball while returning it to the bowler. One guy dropped the ball, and claimed it was due to a poor throw, but one of his very insensitive teammates shouted: 'I heard you let Linda (obviously an ex) slip through your fingers as well.'
This did not go down well with the guy in question, and I thought things might go a bit further, especially when, later on, the guy who had dropped the ball was moaning that he hadn't been selected to keep wicket.
'I'm not called "The Cat' for nothing you know.' he remonstrated.
The same wag called out: 'We know all about that - you're called the cat because you had a (rhymes with hit) behind the sightscreen.'
Sometimes it really is worth umpiring... :D
When I was at university, we never really sledged the opposition more ourselves lol. We didn't take the game too seriously (most of the time...)
But the one thing that sticks in my mind is when we were fielding (and we were getting smoked) one of our players went up to the batsman, revealed his pubic hair and asked 'Have I cut these too short?' It must have majorly confused the batsman as the next ball he missed a straight one... Oh how we laughed our socks off
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I came into bat in a league game and the bowler whizzed the first ball past my outside edge. He took a stride down and said "Afternoon". Next ball was a nice half volley that I hit through extra for 3. As I was running down the pitch I said "and a good afternoon to you to". Made the umpire giggle!
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Played against a guy years ago who came out with no helmet saying he had faced garner in his youth so no one would trouble him
Needless to say we took up the challenge and managed to take his cap off and he ran to changing rooms to get a lid on haha
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Played against a guy years ago who came out with no helmet saying he had faced garner in his youth so no one would trouble him
Needless to say we took up the challenge and managed to take his cap off and he ran to changing rooms to get a lid on haha
had the opposite!
Back in the late eighties/early 90s we had a very young 2nd XI. Approx 7-8 of the side were 16-20, but most of them played for Bucks at colts level. We also had a captain not afraid get stuck in. Anyway, we were over at Farnham Royal on a typically lively surface. We scrapped and got to 200+. The oppo came out and tried to slog our young attack all over the park from ball one. Problem for them was our attack was considerably more lively than theirs and slogging only got the youngsters even more wound up. It all reached a peak when the number 8 came in with a helmet. Back then nobody wore a lid. His defence was "he had to go into work on the monday", which he told the young bowler. However, once he slogged a couple the helmet became a target and he didn't last long...
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Played a cup game a few years ago against Sutton cc. They were quite lively and had a big West Indian charging in from the top end. First ball wizzed past my outside edge and then next 2-3 did the same. Big guy at 2nd slip calls out "send him back he ain't told his mum his playing with the big boys". Next ball I nicked straight to him but it was going so quick it thumped him square in the chest before he even moved his hands. He had to go off with a little send off from me that I can not put on this forum.
Also heard the bus driver one a few times. As well as plenty of other silly and stupid comments from quick bowlers when they beat you first ball before I have dispatched there next ball. Always found a quick wink and a smile winds them up more than any words
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Can't think of specifics but me and the skipper get some good back and fro banter going. I take 1st slip and he takes short leg and then discuss everything from the opposing village. As we ignore the bat, he normally ends up trying to chip in with comments which breaks his concentration.
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A few years ago our veteran seamer made the same guy play and miss three or four times in a row. After the last one he stood there puzzled, took his glasses off and walked over to hand them to the batsman....
Silent sledging!
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One of our old players knew the batswoman knew aswell this batswoman had a liking for her, so she stood as close as was aloud by the umpire and said whats your name luv, and winked. next ball she was gone.
Haha that's got me in creases
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One of our old players knew the batswoman knew aswell this batswoman had a liking for her, so she stood as close as was aloud by the umpire and said whats your name luv, and winked. next ball she was gone.
That would've finished me off as well....
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try and be as chirpy as possible. had some great ones with one lad at huntly playing for the 2nds.
one i recall was actually 2 1st teamers watching our game, one was our overseas who was from NZ and dark skinned. one of our bowlers bowled a horrible ball that should have been punished but was left alone, so our overseas goes for "that belongs in the trees" standing next to him is the 1st wicketkeeper who without thought goes for a standard come back of just repeating what was said just with "you" at the front, so he goes for "you belong in the trees Sachin" now everyone who hears this just stops in awe of his utter stupidity as he slowly realizes what hes said. we are all in stitches as Sach fakes offense and the lad trys to backtrack. still mentioned to this day! haha
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Can't think of specifics but me and the skipper get some good back and fro banter going. I take 1st slip and he takes short leg and then discuss everything from the opposing village. As we ignore the bat, he normally ends up trying to chip in with comments which breaks his concentration.
This would probably work for me. I wouldn't chip in but I'd listen. I like when people comment at or about me as that helps me concentrate but if you totally ignore me and actually banter between yourselves I tend to listen. Weird really.
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I love a bit of chirp when I'm batting. I actually thrive on it, so the more the oppo do it, the more I love it and the better I seem to play. Weekend just gone, we'd already won and the oppo fielders just got silly. I turned to the worst and said "mate, if you guys could bat as well as you talk (No Swearing Please), this might've been a contest". In the same game while we were in the field, our slipper was doing the Count from Sesame Street with each dot ball, i.e. "one! One dot ball, ah-ha-ha-ha!" He got up to 9 before this batsman finally lost his rag and tried a big shot and got a run. Was quite entertaining.
Last year I remember playing a shorter ball that was at my hands straight down, and one of the slips went "ohhh, bowl him another he's scared". I whipped around and said "I've seen your mum, mate. I'm not scared of anything anymore". Love giving it back to them.
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I love a bit of chirp when I'm batting. I actually thrive on it, so the more the oppo do it, the more I love it and the better I seem to play. Weekend just gone, we'd already won and the oppo fielders just got silly. I turned to the worst and said "mate, if you guys could bat as well as you talk (No Swearing Please), this might've been a contest". In the same game while we were in the field, our slipper was doing the Count from Sesame Street with each dot ball, i.e. "one! One dot ball, ah-ha-ha-ha!" He got up to 9 before this batsman finally lost his rag and tried a big shot and got a run. Was quite entertaining.
Last year I remember playing a shorter ball that was at my hands straight down, and one of the slips went "ohhh, bowl him another he's scared". I whipped around and said "I've seen your mum, mate. I'm not scared of anything anymore". Love giving it back to them.
This sounds more 'personal' abuse rather than banter to me.
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I was at a game once where my brother was playing.
His teams keeper was sledging away all through the oppositions innings. Just petty stuff really. Continually hurling the ball at the stumps for no reason.
When he came out to bat the opposition went straight after him. He got out pretty quickly and was nearly in tears as he charged off the park n
That's one thing I don't get. If you're gonna give it, don't be a mental midget when you get it back.
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I generally don't give it on the field, but then i don't take it either. My primary job is as a bowler so i have no need. When i bay, if some one is giving me lip, frankly, i ignore it as mh job is to attempt to score. If there's noise i hope they are enjoying it cos i ain't listening.
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I generally don't give it on the field, but then i don't take it either. My primary job is as a bowler so i have no need. When i bay, if some one is giving me lip, frankly, i ignore it as mh job is to attempt to score. If there's noise i hope they are enjoying it cos i ain't listening.
Unusually for a keeper, I don't give out that much chirp, then again as a team we are pretty laid back, we generally just mess about amongst ourselves, this 'self-abuse' as it can often become (we usually pick one of our players to have a pop at: fat, stupid, slept with a rotter recently etc) is actually quite good at distracting the batsman.
If I get any chat when I'm batting I generally respond pretty early on with 'you're mistaking me for someone who gives a **** mate.' I'll then ignore them, if after a few overs they are still droning on, I'll just refuse to come to the crease until they settle down. Umpires are pretty strict with over rates, and often dock points and fine captains. so the captains usually shut their players up.
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Ha i do that too if there is too much "chatting" i just walk out to square leg and stand there resting on my bat
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This sounds more 'personal' abuse rather than banter to me.
Probably should've mentioned I knew the guy who said it quite well.
I can't believe I left out possibly my best sledge - playing a team last year and one of their batsmen kept trying to cut everything, but couldn't lay bat on one. I was at slip and yelled to the bowler "hey Clint, throw down some paper... see if he can cut that". Even the batsman was laughing at that.
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i dont really say much tbh...
we tend to abuse our team mates rather than the opposition.. obv a few of our bowlers are always chelping at the batters. but i never really say anything keeping
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When I'm keeping I like to mix in a bit of current affairs.
When it came out Tiger Woods had all those affairs, a batsman played and missed several I just came out with "more misses than tiger woods"
Our spin bowler once slipped in his stride and bowled a ball which went really high, yet turned into a Yorker, went with "no volcanic ash stopping that flight"
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I like the old classics " try bowling a piano, see if he can play that" etc
Don't sledge when I bowl, some batsmen thrive on it.
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Ha i do that too if there is too much "chatting" i just walk out to square leg and stand there resting on my bat
We know were getting to you if you do that.
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Never sledge mainly as I dont have the ammo or cricket skills to back it up.
Had a keeper and slipper betting if I could hit a house roof hoping I would slog. Just turned to them and said "don't worry mate I know for a fact I won't hit that roof so keep your money" then hit one nicely for four.
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with the team i captain ive made sure that we're all chatty all the way through the innings, not at the batsman just taking the mick out of each other. i think it keeps the junior players awake and keeps the senior lads enjoying their cricket. I do say a few things to batsmen aswell but it tends to be things that will make both of us smile, i dont bother getting nasty- we're amateurs why not play the game with a smile on our faces!
seems to be working well as we got promoted last season :D
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saying that their are some idiots in our league- one game last season our no3. was on 80 odd off 50 balls, no real slogs apart from a couple of big straight 6's just a good cricket innings. for some reason the other team kept the sledging going asking him when he was going to play some proper shots- he ended up on 172 of 112 balls oh dear!
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playing stocksbridge cc once, i got asked if i wanted to step outside so i not very politely from first slip indicated that were were already outside, this was after a bit of "banter" from myself that the batsman had been beaten all ends up by a 15 year old, he wasn't impressed.
then last season, i got called gay due to my choice of socks, when i bat i like to tuck my whites into my socks, which are normally white football socks and that particular morning i couldnt find my white ones so i chose my uni socks (they're pink) and so the keeper decides to give me a few overs of abuse at which i turn round tell him his mother didnt mind the pink socks last night to which the lad at slip turned to the keeper and said and i quote "(no swearing please) your mum gets round abit, not only did she have him but shes (no swearing please) half of us as well!" at which point the keeper walks off and goes home, i dont think ive ever seen anyone quit due to a bit of banter.
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Alex, who do you play for?
Presumably you mean Stockbridge CC of the YDCL league?
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yeah i do and chesterfield barbarians, but im tempted to move to a side in nottingham while im at uni as i work in the summer and its easier to play in notts as i dont have to travel home to play
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Can't offer you anything in Notts unfortunatly mate but let me know if you do fancy a change of venue!
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ill be sticking at barbs mate, i just hardly get a chance ot play any more, had a dire season last year, love the banter we get in that league though, not really imaginative but always a good laugh, some sides take it too far but hey!
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a batsmen was giving us jip for unknown reasons and after each ball he would walk away from the wickets and one ball hit him well above the knee roll on his pads as he walked away and had his moment one of our slips cheered and said well bowled son you deserved that wicket the batter's face when he turned around was a sight effing and jeffing to the umpire he wasn't out everyone on the field was crying laughing and he shut up after that!
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My usual "banter" is a case of let the batsman leave a couple, "More leaves than a tree on this one" Let him block a couple, then hit them with "More blocks than legoland" Few more dots go by, then he gets "More dots than a dalmatian". This then usually brings about a big heave that goes to the rope, the guy gets out or he misses, which earns him a "More misses than Henry VIII" chirp... I've claimed several wickets for the team that way, and it's usually the youngsters or the flat track bully that falls victim to it.
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with the team i captain ive made sure that we're all chatty all the way through the innings, not at the batsman just taking the mick out of each other. i think it keeps the junior players awake and keeps the senior lads enjoying their cricket. I do say a few things to batsmen aswell but it tends to be things that will make both of us smile, i dont bother getting nasty- we're amateurs why not play the game with a smile on our faces!
seems to be working well as we got promoted last season :D
I wish more did that. Too many get personal in the belief it's 'sledging' or 'banter'.
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I wish more did that. Too many get personal in the belief it's 'sledging' or 'banter'.
It's been a conscious decision to go that way aswell when I took over the team a couple of years ago I've phased out the spit the dummy out types and brought in the idea that your a long time in the field so enjoy it, we take the mick out of each other, the umpires and the batsmen but its all done with a smile, as a result we've got more people enjoying their cricket so we have a much stronger squad overall. Don't get me wrong we play hard but in between balls it's all about making each other smile
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I did have the joy of having the last word with a work colleague who was a serious cricket 'bore'. - Man of a certain age, described himself as 'military medium, nagging length' (I'd always thought the latter was from his wife mentioning his 'shortcomings' so to speak.)
He was talking about how he thought he'd heard a noise downstairs in the middle of the night:
'I crept down the stairs with my cricket bat at the ready...' he said.
I asked: 'if it was a burglar, what were you going to do with the bat - play and miss at him?'