Right - after a busy day, finally had time to put down a few notes about the evening.
Firstly a note - I'm actually a B3 sceptic. I think the scientific, clinical nature of the set-up had put me off. The densities confused me and the new-fangled techno-nerdism of Streaky didn't sit right with me personally. To me bats should be made in a shed by a guy called Alf, smoking a roll-up using only a whittling knife and some common-sense. However, my curiosity was piqued by their various threads, images and videos.
THE VENUE:
The Barn, at a mystery location in Surrey - so mysterious that her Majesties' finest couldn't even find it. Cold, dank and with a bowling machine from 17yrds it is a challenging environment for any young cricketer - let alone an old, fat, short-sighted one.
THE CAST:
Darth Stig as usual loomed large over proceedings. Clad only in white, he slunk around moodily, refusing to speak to the others and pausing only to mark his territory in his usual unsavoury fashion. He seemed obsessed with the butterfly bats, and uttered a cry of revulsion and terror when he first saw The Monger.
The Pocket Battleship - HMS Dave Procricket arrived in a very posh and shiny new car, filled to the gunnels with kit. At first I was astonished as to how small he really was, until I realised he was actually very far away. The man positively exudes enthusiasm and earthy Northern charm. He was clearly disturbed to be this far south into Surrey and expected to be assaulted at any moment by gangs of marauding Stockbrokers. He also, rather bizarrely brought his manservant 'James' with him, who he assured us regularly shared his 'fox-hole'.
Batoff was a rather louche character, a former semi-pro of yesteryear he sprawled across the furniture in his smoking jacket largely ignoring proceedings and puffing on his cigarillo. He was spotted later on stroking the largest B3 rather like Blofeld's cat.
Buzz - Buzz rather let the side down last night - he was late due to a nappy emergency (not his own apparently), he spent the whole evening loudly proclaiming everyone's handle was too thin and trying to press the claims of his own Butterfly bat as the supreme stick on show "it's only 47 quid you know" he would tell anyone who would listen. This was cut short when the Stig threw his butterfly into the paddock and marched him over to the pile of B3's
Fattus - I felt that the best way to test the B3's was to subject them to a vigorous session of playing and missing and cautious leaves. I also confused Dave with my heavy home-counties accent and he struggled to understand my constant cries of "aaaaargghhhhh" whilst attempting to bat. At one point he thought I'd had a seizure and sent 'James' to give me a vigorous rub down.
THE BATS: Dave bought The Butterfly at about 2.10 with a big bottom, The Big Gay Green One at about 2.8 with a small profile and higher middle, The Bloody Great Big One at 3.2 which picked up miles lighter and The Trott One which was about 2.10 and a bit battered.
I didn't mind the butterfly, and it went like a bloody train, but for me it was a touch bottom-heavy, a very nice shape though. I loved the Big Gay Green one, it picked up like a feather and had a very long middle, people should probably ask Dave for pics of that and it's number if they want a lighter-picking up bat. The Great Big one was a revelation to pick up - I don't know how they do it, it genuinely felt like a 2.12. It had a solid middle, but too much for me. The Trott one I didn't really use, but it was a lovely shape.
IN CONCLUSION: This is a difficult one, and I propose to be brutally honest- none of the bats Dave bought were lookers in the grains department, but all of them performed well. In fact, I couldn't tell you what stripe any of them were after I'd netted with them all, as they all seemed to go similarly well. The finish on them is to me a little 'Asian'. By that I mean sharpish edges and solid shapes, and not 'boned' to within an inch of their lives (although that is not a bad thing eh men? Narf narf
), but I kind of liked that. Certainly what I would praise is the shaping is really nice, and I think that makes them very balanced, which I suppose is what their manufacturing method will allow them to do.
Would I buy one? Oh crap! I mean, I don't need another bat, and I certainly can't afford another one, but having actually used several, and looked at a few more - yes I probably would.
I don't think they were the prettiest I've ever seen, but they went well and were balanced beautifully, so therefore they are an effective tool (rather like me!)
I don't mean to offend anyone at B3's finishing department - and I also don't wish to blow smoke up Dave's ass (as I'd have to get pretty low down to do it
), but (and I'm happy to be corrected here) it seems to be a range that is focused on performance before cosmetics.
On the night however, it was lovely to have a net, rub myself up against some new kit and meet up with Dave, Buzz, Batoff and Stiggy again - beats a night in with a Jazz-mag and a Ginsters.
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Topic: b3 batoff? (Read 6688 times)