Our home changing room get's a hammering. I find a pad against a wall makes a good sound and let's everyone know not to come in for 5 mins.
I usually quit cricket immediatley, try and sell my gear and walk round the boundary chain smoking muttering the usual "I hate this (No Swearing Please) game, waste of a saturday, why do I bother, etc"
I have seen a bloke turn up to field for 50 overs, get a golden, then wrap his £300 kook round a football post....