Ok. So our first league game is tomorrow. I have been netting in various ways since November. I think I've improved, my confidence has definitely improved in the nets and I think I've gained a little more respect from my teamates... BUT the nerves (and the accompanying thoughts) have already started to take hold. 'What if I get a duck? what will people think? The senior players who haven't seen my progress in nets will just have their belief confirmed that I'm rubbish and I'll get dropped next week. I'm not going to bowl tomorrow so if I get out early it's going to be a long day and an even longer week waiting to bat again. I will have wasted £10 subs that I can't afford and my average on the clubwebsite is going to drop even further.'
As the thoughts circulate the pressure builds. I read somewhere once to try and visualise yourself playing a positive innings but all I can visualise is the ball hitting the stumps, me getting trapped LBW, getting caught out and walking back past my team mates to the changing rooms too embarrassed to give me eye contact.
These nerves, this cycle of thoughts will keep on swirling until I get to the crease tomorrow at which point all the things I have learned in nets, all the positive stroke play I have practiced, all the confidence I have gained will desert me and once again I'll be stood like a rabbit in the headlights as the bowler starts his run up.
During the bowlers approach my negative self-talk will be suddenly and desperately replaced by positive affirmations. 'Relax, you are more than capable, stay solid, play straight, no need to panic, back yourself...'
Inevitably the ball will be full and straight ( I never get a rank full-toss first up or a long-hop, always full and straight) The same ball I will get a hundred times in nets. I know to watch the ball, I know to play straight, I know that I don't need to score of this ball, I know to wait for the bad ball especially so early in my innings.
What happens next is a mystery. My adrenalin kicks in, my eyes light up, the thought of getting off the mark consumes me and I play the shot I have never, ever, ever played in nets - the cross batted lofted hoik over mid-wicket... I miss, the ball hits the stumps. Thanks for coming, you've been great.
So I guess what I am asking is, how can I be relaxed and confident at the crease, how can I take my mentality in the nets into a match situation. How can I consider myself a peer of my teammates and my opponents and not like the biggest idiot on the field?
All advice welcome.