Print

[uknsaunders]

Seen plenty but some knob got my backup two sunday's ago. Ball going down leg (not by much) and he pads it away, runs to the other end and tells the umpire (who was obviously as stupid as him) to call it a leg bye. When I point out he hadn't played a shot, he said "I saved it being called a wide anyway" - utter disbelief that there are people this stupid playing cricket. Our captain, not being the most astute observer of the laws of cricket believed him as well! He was about 50 odd and should know the laws by now!

Got my own back and sent him packing later on 

[WalkingWicket37]

Had a big snick the other day into the keepers gloves, the umpire didn't give it and said "sorry, I didn't see what happened so I can't give that"
The batsman laughed and said after he'd hit the cover off it...

[Alvaro]

I saw my reflection in a puddle on the outfield once.

[uknsaunders]

One of our players forgot to bring his trousers and ended up opening the bowling in shorts (and a headband). Seen a few guys bowling in headbands and it does look village. Anybody in black trainers as well.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

[RF]

Playing Evening League a few seasons ago at Drax, some bloke turned up late on his massive tractor and trailer.  He put some whites on, went straight onto the pitch and bowled 4 overs, took 3 or 4 wickets walked off got back on his tractor and went to back to work.

[deanoknight]

On a Sunday, our number 4 came out to bat, went to take guard......No bat

[RF]

Another one.....

My Dad and brother both liked using the same bat so when they were in together they'd swap bats mid way through an over if they ran a single, that's proper village

[edge]

Bloke having a fag at cover during play, put the fag down each ball and picked it up again afterwards

Any batsman who thinks thigh pads are best worn outside trousers (saw a guy once with the full shorts/pads/box setup on over his trousers)

Team we played last year who almost all either batted in keeping pads or had cut the top flap of their pads off

Batsman in a t20 league this year went through 3 brand new sports direct bats in one innings, clearly hadn't knocked them in and broke the toe on 2 of them.

[Phoenix]

We had a new guy come and play for us from Serbia and he walked out to bat and was facing the wicket keeper and slips tapping his bat looking all confused.   

[Kieron_BT]

Once played with a guy who come out to field with an armguard on because he was scared of getting hurt. He then proceeded to be to leave the field half way through the innings when asked to stand in slip to get his helmet. He was then stood at slip with an armguard and helmet on.

Couldn't quite believe what I was seeing.

[WalkingWicket37]

How did I forget this one - last season our number 11 was doing the book when the 9th wicket fell, he went out to bat like this (and padded up on the square!)

[iand123]

The other week we had a player who hadn't played for a few years other than tour turn up, borrowed whites from people but didnt have any shoes so fielded bare foot for a few overs until a spectator drove home and got some (not to be helpful but out of pure embarrassment that there was someone prepared to field 40 overs without shoes or socks on)

[trypewriter]

A bloke taking guard and asking for 'middle'.
Umpire says: 'a bit away'.
so the batsman leaves his bat in the same spot but takes a pace back.

[Akewstick]

A bloke taking guard and asking for 'middle'.
Umpire says: 'a bit away'.
so the batsman leaves his bat in the same spot but takes a pace back.

lol! That's great.

We've got a player always asks for middle, scratches it out and then proceeds to stand anywhere from 4 inches behind it, to toes on it to heels on it, different stance to every ball, I've never asked why he thinks you have to ask what middle is. Does he know it means middle stump? Is it so the umpire knows where you're standing? One of those quirky rules you just have to say "is that middle" and no one knows why? I'll never know why he thinks you're supposed to do it.

[Cin88]

I once saw a lad do a very good impression of Sir Ian Botham, by which I mean he took a big swing at the ball, missed and then fell over his stumps trying to regain his balance.