A friend of mine plays Minor Counties with Monty and he's still as much as a character now!
Apparently one of his games was over very quickly, and was due to meet up with the lads at a hotel an hour away from where he was playing after the game. He arrives 8 hours later at midnight. Everyone is having a drink in the bar, and they ask him if it went the distance as he was so late, and he said "No, bowled for 70 odd and they got them in 10".
"Where did you go then?" "Came straight here" "What, that took 8 hours?" "Yeh" "Cant of, did you go the wrong way?" "Dunno really just drove here"
Apparently he was then due to bat 10/11 in the game, and after the 5th wicket fell, he walked out padded up, with everyone confused as to what he was doing. He lasted a few balls looking sketchy before nicking one behind and walking off. They asked what was going on and he just went "dunno just backed myself"