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[TGB1997]

During my fairly short career of playing adult cricket I've heard some pretty funny sledges in the past. Of course there are also the classics and the more creative ones such as the Shane Warne incident with Darryl Cullinon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-OS6PrBz_U) or the simple Jimmy Anderson response to Mitchell Johnson a few years back (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fm6YPQeGSg0)

One of the funniest ones I heard was last season when I came out to bat trying to save the game to make it a draw. A leg spinner was on and there were several fielders around the bat. I took my guard and looked around the field and one of the close fielders said "go on lad do it for the sponsors" which I found hilarious as I had all the same brand and line bat, pads and gloves. It wasn't meant to be funny but I couldn't help but have a little chuckle.

What are some of the best and funniest sledges that you've used or heard whilst playing cricket.

[Mr_Orange]

The best I've heard while playing:

Leg spin bowler to our opening bat after he played and missed at the first 3/4 balls: "Shall I go and buy you a book on how to play leg spin?"
Next ball, our bat slog sweeps it into the adjacent canal for 6, walks down the pitch: "Shall I go and buy you a dog to go and fetch that ball?"

Brilliant. Had me in tears at the non-strikers end.

[WalkingWicket37]

Funniest one I've heard was when one of the slower runners between the wickets was batting in an intra club game. His sprint was basically a jog for everyone else!

A the ball went into the outfield and the batsman set off for an "easy 2". The fielder picks up the ball and the keeper shouts " Linford's end". Said batsman was run out by a considerable distance and  everyone was laughing at the genius shout. It was made funnier when he came off asking who Linford was. Once we explained the Linford Christie joke he had a sense of humour failure...

[TGB1997]

The best I've heard while playing:

Leg spin bowler to our opening bat after he played and missed at the first 3/4 balls: "Shall I go and buy you a book on how to play leg spin?"
Next ball, our bat slog sweeps it into the adjacent canal for 6, walks down the pitch: "Shall I go and buy you a dog to go and fetch that ball?"

Brilliant. Had me in tears at the non-strikers end.

That's a clever one to use, simple but brilliant

[TGB1997]

Funniest one I've heard was when one of the slower runners between the wickets was batting in an intra club game. His sprint was basically a jog for everyone else!

A the ball went into the outfield and the batsman set off for an "easy 2". The fielder picks up the ball and the keeper shouts " Linford's end". Said batsman was run out by a considerable distance and  everyone was laughing at the genius shout. It was made funnier when he came off asking who Linford was. Once we explained the Linford Christie joke he had a sense of humour failure...

I like that, very funny use of celeb names had me in stitches 

[roco]

one of my favourites did involve a leg spinning forum member bowling to one of our batsmen who kept sweeping (it was his only shot against spin) and he will tell you better but it was something like "there is an offside you beeping know" to which our bat I think said (after sweeping another one from a foot outside off) "I don't need it"

[Calzehbhoy]

one of my favourites did involve a leg spinning forum member bowling to one of our batsmen who kept sweeping (it was his only shot against spin) and he will tell you better but it was something like "there is an offside you beeping know" to which our bat I think said (after sweeping another one from a foot outside off) "I don't need it"

That sounds like something I'd say.... And I bowl leggies.... Hmmm!

[dcullen8]

Ive had the usual "do you want me to put a ******* bell in it" after playing and missing a few, favourite ive recieved is being continuously called The Terminator for use of Aero strippers and arm guard!

[jamielsn15]

I've posted this one in another thread but we had one guy who was batting against us and, in between balls, turned to the wicket keeper and asked him what his favourite Haribo was.  Everyone was doubled up.

The one I'm most proud of that had the Umpire chuckling away was when I was batting at the non-striker's end playing against a bowler who I played mid-week cricket with.  After my opening batting partner had played and missed at three in a row, he was walking back to his mark and said "tell you what Jay, it's doing a bit" to which I shot back "its gotta be the pitch..."

Sadly I tend to hear more abuse than out and out funnys, especially when I used to play in mid week Midlands T20 leagues.  I love banter and funnys, can't stand any abuse, especially not at the level I play at...

[TGB1997]

I've posted this one in another thread but we had one guy who was batting against us and, in between balls, turned to the wicket keeper and asked him what his favourite Haribo was.  Everyone was doubled up.

The one I'm most proud of that had the Umpire chuckling away was when I was batting at the non-striker's end playing against a bowler who I played mid-week cricket with.  After my opening batting partner had played and missed at three in a row, he was walking back to his mark and said "tell you what Jay, it's doing a bit" to which I shot back "its gotta be the pitch..."

Sadly I tend to hear more abuse than out and out funnys, especially when I used to play in mid week Midlands T20 leagues.  I love banter and funnys, can't stand any abuse, especially not at the level I play at...

I agree with you on the abuse comments. It's not needed in amateur cricket. I played a game last season against my old team and not only was i sledged horrifically as well as mainly facing body line bowling attacks. Its not needed.

[ElPerro]

had one directed at me when I was batting once which was genuinely pretty funny at the time and had all involved creasing

i was using a PiriPiri bat and the oppos spinner had turned a few past the outside edge, bowled yet another one that drifted in then spun past the outside edge. Quick as anything first slip just chirps, "too hooot, too spiiicy"

this was said around the time this advert was on tv as well...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVSLZJ6Pwag

[KarlPennington]

"He's seeing it like a skittle"

[Seniorplayer]

Theres 2 i remember the one  I thought was funny  i am facing a county spinner the sky is overcast and it's hot the ball is pitching and turning and I haven't a clue after a few overs of this someone shouts bowl him a newspaper see if he can read that !

The other one is i walk to the crease and start to mark my guard and  there's a shout  from the opposistion Aussie overseas of:  Hey mate  there's S--T on the end of your bat as I take a look at the toe the slips  all shout not that end the other F---ing end. charming

[brokenbat]

A former West Indian fast bowler (short career) was giving the "glare" to a struggling batsman. After a few deliveries of being glared at the batsman said, "so...a third rate club league in the US - is this where sh*tty Test cricketers come to die?".. got a few chuckles out of the fielders, as well as a bruised rib

Dibbly dobbly bowler was swinging it miles, very very very slowly. After one ball swung from leg to outside off, he says "wow, that started outside leg!". The batsman replied "yeah...and it also started yesterday".

[Woodyspin]

"He was playing dowm the victoria line rather than the bakerloo with that one!" (relating to london underground train lines for those that are unaware