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[Calzehbhoy]

Another one I like which seems to wind batsmen up is when they play and miss at a good ball letting them know that a half decent batsman would have nicked it.

[InternalTraining]

This.

I find most of the sledging that happens at the level I play at is done by a clueless, talentless youngster and is usually toe-curlingly bad. Often the sledge comes from the bloke who takes no wickets or scores no runs each week and just makes him look like a dick.

I'll wade in if the bloke has blatantly cheated or is picking on a youngster, but other than that - if you are of average talent - best keep schtum, this game has a habit of biting you on the ass!

This

You know, it is my observation that the most useless player in the team talks the most smack and acts like an on-field general/professor. Now, our captain is lenient so ani can get away with it but a toughie captain would surely leave his footprints all over the ani butts.

[InternalTraining]

Brett Lee??

Hahahhahaha

[jamielsn15]

A guy I used to work with got sledged from the stands when he played a bit of club cricket in Jamaica.

Three old Jamaican guys sat in the concrete stands and after a remark of the batsman, "yes, YES!, make da willow siiinnnnggggggg!!!" He got this...

He'd spent several overs on the cover boundary running shuttles, trying in vain to stop  boundary after boundary.  After a few overs, when it was quiet, one of the old Jamaican gentlemen, in that unmistakably accent, said, "hey, get da white boy a bike!"

Awesome.

[sachin200]

Brett Lee??

LOL! Worse!

[jblowe]

Got Sledged all season due to my slightly long beard.

While I was batting one side constantly referred to me as "Uncle Albert", and kept asking if Trigger was in next.

Another side called me Santa, and when one of our juniors came out to bat said "Here comes Santa's little helper" then asked me if my kit bag was really a big sack.

Got a lot of "Who do you think you are? WG" then someone would add, "well he is odd enough".

[Jaffa]

Playing away in a 35 over game, fair play the bloke in wasn't going to give his wicket away but we all knew he needed to push on to make a game of it.

After numerous overs of one maybe two runs an over, one of our fielders on the boundary shouted across, 'Ruddy Hell, there's more singles here than on Tinder'! We had to laugh. 

[FattusCattus]

Got Sledged all season due to my slightly long beard.

While I was batting one side constantly referred to me as "Uncle Albert", and kept asking if Trigger was in next.

Another side called me Santa, and when one of our juniors came out to bat said "Here comes Santa's little helper" then asked me if my kit bag was really a big sack.

Got a lot of "Who do you think you are? WG" then someone would add, "well he is odd enough".

If I may be so bold  your highness - you are more of a King George VI beard than a V, and therefore should be shown a bit more respect.

[smilley792]

Got Sledged all season due to my slightly long beard.

While I was batting one side constantly referred to me as "Uncle Albert", and kept asking if Trigger was in next.

Another side called me Santa, and when one of our juniors came out to bat said "Here comes Santa's little helper" then asked me if my kit bag was really a big sack.

Got a lot of "Who do you think you are? WG" then someone would add, "well he is odd enough".

Not really sledged, but I get more chat from the oppo when I have shaved.

Beards rule!

[KPittman]

Best one that happened at my club this season was one of our 3rd XI batsmen was playing a quite ugly innings but after taking generic sledge after generic sledge, the fielder at point resorted to using current affairs and went with 'next one's coming to me Scratchy McScratchface'.

[19reading87]

Balcony cricket

[FattusCattus]

I don't claim these to be genius or hysterically funny, but we used to have a big South African playing for us who just came out with the most priceless things.

Opposition Opener gets out first ball of the match, as he trudges past our chap comments - "Early bath for you bud, don't use all the hot water!"

Playing a friendly, he was intrigued by the opposition's enormous antipodean overseas player who was lamping it everywhere. In between overs he wandered up to him and said "where you from mate - Aussie?", to which the giant replied "Nah Papua New Guinea", - "ah ha!" says our boy, "Cannibal eh?" and wanders off!

[alexhilly1492]

Balcony cricket

Yes!!!!

[Bat and Ball Cricket]

I've gone back to Grade Cricket this year after a few years in another comp, to help 'guide' the up and coming youngsters.
I'm pretty reserved with the younger guys in my team, but the opposition has always been free game.

I'm bowling away at a 17ish kid, who after playing and missing at 10 balls and barely keeping out two yorkers says to me 'your bowling well mate!'.

Without thinking, the fast bowler in me (though past my prime) barks back 'How about you worry about your f#$*ing batting mate. I know i'm bowling f#$*ing well, but you look like you could use all the help you can f#$*ing get.'

[Wickets-then-runs]

A particularly young-looking kid comesout to bat a few weeks ago and one of our blokes chirps him with "do your balls even touch your Spiderman undies yet, mate?"
Cracked everyone up including the young fella!