Thought I'd put the best ones so far together in one if anyone wants to print them out.
Reasons Why A Cricket Bat is Better Than A Woman
• You can share your bat with your mates!
• You can rub oil into your bat without your bat complaining that you're making a mess!
• You can take 3 or 4 bats out at the same time!
• You get to choose how your bat is dressed (stickers, grips, etc)
• You can talk about how good your first ever bat was without your other bats getting jealous!
• The more you hit the bat with a mallet, then better the bat plays!
• You can dump a bat (in the cupboard) for a couple of years, and come back and play with it anytime you want!
• Using a plastic cover wont hinder performance
• A bat doesn't ask you if it looks big in its cover!
• The heavier and more meat on the bat, the more your mates lust over it!
• You only have to keep the bat in its prime performance.
• Bats don’t talk!
• Bats don't insist on watching EastEnders when you're watching cricket on TV!
• A bat wont take up room in the bed
• Even a £200 bat is cheap in comparison to a woman
• Bats don't need handbags or shoes.
• With bats, it's not just about how it looks...
• Having a bat with a big back(side) is a good thing
• Having a freakishly long neck (handle) with a very short, dumpy, fat body is considered the newest and hottest thing!
• Strangers will come up and tell you how lush and gorgeous your bat looks!
• You won't take a swing at them when they do!!
• The stiffer the face the better
• Rubber / Latex is not considered unusual
• You can fix them with glue and fibre tape not flowers and a dinner out
• They are happy and last longer if you give them a yearly rub down and oil!
• You don't have to wait for hours for them to be ready before you go out
• If you are in and out in 10 seconds, then you're more disappointed than your bat is!
• Bats don't get moody at a certain time of the month.
• Weight reduction doesn’t leave stretch marks
Author
Topic: Ways in which Bats are better than women......... (Read 7375 times)