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[Northern monkey]

Post the stupidest comments made whilst playing, usually from oppos keeper

I've had two this year so far

'This lads not scared of the ball'after cutting first ball for four

And yesterday's was, 'I bet you were dreaming about facing bowling this bad last night'

[edge]

'Well bowled mate, that's nice' as one sailed down the leg side.

[norman1979]

"Has your mom come to watch you play today son?"

That's me guilty with that at the young lad who opened against us yesterday.

[Seniorplayer]

After I drove the ball back past the bowler and held the pose :
First slip hey mate We're you sculptured by Michael Angelo
No well stop standing there like a F---ing statue.

[WalkingWicket37]

After I drove the ball back past the bowler and held the pose :
First slip hey mate We're you sculptured by Michael Angelo
No well stop standing there like a F---ing statue.

Calling BS on this one, I'm yet to meet a slip who doesn't think Michael Angelo is a Ninja Turtle...

[LateBloomer]

Not a stupid comment as such but Monty P was playing minor counties at our club today and introduced the place as "Wiltshire, which is in Warminster" on his Twitter feed You could forgive him a slip of the tongue but he doesn't half get things jumbled a lot Had lots of time for everyone and didn't mind being constantly bothered when warming up and made a lot of people's day as a result

How did he bowl?

[AlRidd]

Not a stupid comment as such but Monty P was playing minor counties at our club today and introduced the place as "Wiltshire, which is in Warminster" on his Twitter feed You could forgive him a slip of the tongue but he doesn't half get things jumbled a lot Had lots of time for everyone and didn't mind being constantly bothered when warming up and made a lot of people's day as a result

Which County is he playing for mate?

[Northern monkey]

Shook his hand in Bristol last year, lovely bloke
He laughed at me cos I did a double take/ is it or isn't it. Ha

[jamielsn15]

Walked out to open yesterday, slip gives it "ooh, new bat, let's make sure he doesn't use it." my first thought, it's not new and then thought he's clearly not a CBFer...

[Bats_Entertainment]

Steve James writes well about clueless club cricket sledging in his book 'The Art of Centuries'.

[uknsaunders]

Some guy with all the kit was giving non stop chatter as keeper yesterday. Eventually asked him "which team do you normally play for?", given it was Oxford 4s. I think he eventually got the point the higher you play in a club the more bs you talk.

[Bats_Entertainment]

The point Steve James made was that these people think they are being like the pro when they chat this bs; but are, in fact, very far wide of the mark.

[Bats_Entertainment]

I also wonder if professional cricketers actually feel the need to shout a weight in pounds and ounces every time they pick up a cricket bat.

[jamielsn15]

Similar comment for me yesterday. Don't think it occurred to brains of Britain behind the stumps that a bat might be tidied up ahead of the first game of the season... but it is hard to come up with a witty comeback explaining nerdy tendencies The nice irony was the only guy who did have a new bat (straight from Sports Direct no less) hit a solid 49 to keep us in the game

It wasn't even cleaned up! Numerous cherries on it, but i agree i couldn't think of anything to come back at him with so I figured better to leave him to it. He didn't shut up all game though

[HallamKeeper]

I've had keepers and slips talking nonsense all game a few times in the past. It actually annoyed me which helps me bat. On one occasion it was just so irritating I just kept on replying along the lines of 'god, this is boring chat' or 'I'm embarrassed for you' etc. I also started talking a lot from the non-strikers end encouraging my partner.

I'm not sure if it was a good thing to do but I hadn't heard a batsman do that before so I thought why not.