Suppose it depends on how you look at it. Most will blame the chances because they don't want to lay any blame at Stokes door, so more likely to blame Bairstow. I love how attacking Stokes is but he gambled with the declaration when he had Root in on 120 not out. It didn't pay off. Saying they were 8 down and we wouldn't have had time to bowl them out without the declaration doesn't really wash, as we lost two full sessions to rain and I'm sure that wasn't on Stokes mind when he declared.
Not saying the missed chances didn't cost us, they were a big factor but they weren't the only factors. We could have scored another 40 or 50 1st innings, gave away cheap wickets and should have posted over 300 in the second dig. Also failed to mop up the tail at the end, which we should be able to do really.
All that said, great entertainment and Australia batted very well at the death there.