From The Times website:
“You are a damned lot of sneaks.” W.G. Grace to Midwinter, The Oval, 1877.
“I don’t want to see you Mr Warner. There are two teams out there; one is trying to play cricket and the other is not.” Bill Woodfull, the Australia captain, to Pelham Warner, the England manager, during the Bodyline series in Adelaide.
“All right, which one of you bastards called this (No Swearing Please) a (No Swearing Please)?” Victor Richardson to Douglas Jardine after the England captain complained that a slip fielder had sworn at him.
“Tap that one down you little (No Swearing Please).” Tony Lock unleashes a bouncer at Richie Benaud after a prolonged spell of gardening from the future commentating legend.
“Don’t bother shutting it, son, you won’t be there long enough.” Fred Truman to an incoming Australia batsman as he opened the gate on his way out to the middle at Lord’s.
“Who’s this then? Father bloody Christmas?” Jeff Thomson to David Steele.
“When are your balls going to drop sonny?” Tony Greig to a young David Hookes, making his Test debut in the Centenary Test in 1977. Hookes: “Don’t know but at least I’m playing cricket for my own country.”
“No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage.” Derek Randall to Dennis Lillee after being hit on the head by a bouncer during the same Test.
“So how’s your wife and my kids?” Rodney Marsh, the Australia wicketkeeper, to Ian Botham.
Botham’s response: “The wife’s fine – the kids are retarded.”
“Mate, if you just turn the bat over you’ll find the instructions on the other side,” Merv Hughes to Robin Smith, Graeme Hick and countless other English batsmen.
“You can’t f****** bat.” Merv Hughes to Robin Smith at the Lord’s Test of 1989.
Smith smites Hughes to the boundary and retorts: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t f****** bat and you can’t f****** bowl.”
On the next tour: “It’s four years since I bowled to you and you haven’t improved” Merv Hughes. The next ball goes for four. “Neither have you,” responds Smith.
“I’ll bowl you a f***ing piano, you Pommie poof. Let’s see if you can play that.” Merv Hughes to Mike Atherton.
“I couldn’t work out what he was saying, except that every sledge ended with ‘arsewipe’.” Atherton on Hughes.
“Look, I don’t mind the others chirping at me but you’re just the bus driver of this team. So you get back on the bus and get ready to drive it back to the hotel this evening.” Nasser Hussain, the England captain, to a young Justin Langer on the way to scoring 207 at Edgbaston in 1997.
“Let’s have you right under Nasser’s nose.” Ian Healy placing a fielder yards away at cover when Hussain was batting a year later Down Under.
Mark Waugh: “F*** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” James Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”
“You’ve got to bat on this in a minute, Tuffers. Hospital food suit you?” Craig McDermott to Phil Tufnell after the spinner had just got him out.
“You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval? That’s embarrassing.” Shane Warne has a dig at Paul Collingwood in the final Test of the 2006-07 Ashes. He actually scored 17.
“You’re just upset because no one loves you any more.” Kevin Pietersen to Shane Watson, who had just been dumped by his girlfriend.
“What are you looking at, Shermanator?” Shane Warne to Ian Bell.
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Topic: The Best Ashes Sledges (Read 3929 times)