Custom Bats Cricket Forum
Companies => Off-the-shelf companies => Newbery => Topic started by: Bats_Entertainment on October 08, 2013, 12:22:01 PM
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Shocking grammar: http://www.newbery.co.uk/FAQRetrieve.aspx?ID=45444&Q= (http://www.newbery.co.uk/FAQRetrieve.aspx?ID=45444&Q=)
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That is what happens when you let the work experience kid update your website...
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Why don't you put on here the correct grammar for the paragraph then?
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Why don't you put on here the correct grammar for the paragraph then?
I like this, I can read and write but my grammar isn't the greatest. Would be good to see how they compare.
Maybe Newbery need to be sent to The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too
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Christ!! You need a deep breath before having a go at that bad boy.
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I'll have a go...
Before:
"The Newbery name is synonymous with quality and performance used by many of the world’s finest batsmen. The bats are hand crafted in England to create the best in power balance and performance from each individual piece of willow. Experience and skill handed down through generations mean that your Newbery bat is the absolute pinnacle of quality in bat choice."
After:
"The Newbery name is synonymous with quality and performance and is used by many of the world’s finest batsmen. The bats are hand-crafted in England to create the best in power, balance and performance from each individual piece of willow. Experience and skill, handed down through generations, means that your Newbery bat is the absolute pinnacle of quality in bat choice."
It is appallingly written, not just in terms of grammar but style also. The text flows really badly and reads more like a GCSE exam answer than a bit of marketing blurb..anyway.
Let me know where I've messed up!
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It is a bit OTT and looks like they are trying a bit too hard. I have read worse though...
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I should post some of the rubbish I have to read through every day! :)
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So are Newbery stocking Power Balances now? I though they were a thing of the past ;)
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Why don't you put on here the correct grammar for the paragraph then?
Ah! You wrote it!
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Ah! You wrote it!
Nope, I use too many commas when I type, generally. In that was none at all.
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Must be running out of cricket topics if we need to worry about this sort of rubbish now. Who cares... Seriously
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Thought they were a quality brand?
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Must be running out of cricket topics if we need to worry about this sort of rubbish now. Who cares... Seriously
I do. I worry about the decline in standards in this country.
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Who gives a flying fart? If you have an issue with Newbery's grammar, take it up with them! We are here to discuss cricket bats and kit, not be grammar nazis...
P.S. I hope my grammar doesn't offend you!
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Who gives a flying fart? If you have an issue with Newbery's grammar, take it up with them! We are here to discuss cricket bats and kit, not be grammar nazis...
P.S. I hope my grammar doesn't offend you!
It's part of a brand's presentation, surely?
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Must be running out of cricket topics if we need to worry about this sort of rubbish now. Who cares... Seriously
Who gives a flying fart? If you have an issue with Newbery's grammar, take it up with them! We are here to discuss cricket bats and kit, not be grammar nazis...
P.S. I hope my grammar doesn't offend you!
C'mon! This is just a bit of lighthearted fun! Nothing to get irritated by :)
I'm sure if you and your mates were having a conversation over a pint you wouldn't tell them to change the subject because it wasn't to your liking...
Perhaps this thread should be in The Pavillion rather than on the Newbery board...
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Perhaps this thread should be in The Pavillion rather than on the Newbery board...
Why? It is comment on Newbery's presentation. You'd think they'd have extra reason to take care with their presentation, now that so many other brands have exactly the same batmaker as them!
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They've sorted it! Fair play.
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Thank heavens! One less thing to worry about.
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Thank heavens! One less thing to worry about.
You've still got that edge measuring to do, mind...
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Not for me - I'm a bulging-middle man myself.
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Not for me - I'm a bulging-middle man myself.
You could have used a colon there.
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No-one wants a colon too close to their bulging-middle.