Custom Bats Cricket Forum
Forum News and Suggestions => Forum Announcements => Topic started by: uknsaunders on May 17, 2016, 07:45:41 AM
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Just had a thought, we haven't got the forum golden rules written down. For a bit of fun of course.
I'll start off with a couple:-
#1 - It never happened unless you provide pics
#2 - Bat purchases solve everything
@WalkingWicket37 @FattusCattus I require your input on this one!
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#3- 2 bats are not a collection
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#3 - Eeyore is allowed to change his mind as often as his socks
#4 - @WalkingWicket37 's sex life is out of bounds lest it offends @hanif (unless the two of them get together, then pics or it didn't happen)
#5 - Height and age restrictions apply to many of the 'racier' threads, which counts you out @uknsaunders
#6 - Anyone who posts in the Your 2016 season thread along the lines of 'ho hum, another century to me, but the oppo were rubbish' can p*ss right off!
#7 - Thickness of toe measurements and arguing the toss on height of the spine measurements make you sound like a prat
#8 - If someone of limited talent wants to own many bats on here, it's better than being a train-spotter, so leave them alone
#9 - 'Nice Bat' does not constitute a viable post, neither does 'lol' or 'rofl' or 'I was thinking about getting one of these....but didn't' - get over yourselves!!
#10 - If English (or common sense) is not necessarily your first language, it is still not acceptable to spam every thread saying 'I looking for bat, email me with what you have' NO! They won't, get off your fat ass and call them yourselves you lazy defects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I like number #6. A good rule!!
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I like Rule #6 as well and wish that I could say that at least once in my life.
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#11 - All bat descriptions must come with measurements, edge, toe, spine
#12 - Proper bat nerds use PUI (Pickup Index) and rubber band concaving in reviews and descriptions
#13 - Anybody who doesn't review a bat within 5 minutes of buying it is an amateur CBF'er
#14 - Redders will post a wanted or sales post for softs every month
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#15 if you use text speak you are a bellend
#16 the kit is always to blame, buying a new box will increase your batting average
#17 despite what people say, a new bat will benefit your game more than coaching
#18 As a CBF member bat shopping must take a minimum of 3 hours, you still spend this time tapping up every bat in the shop before you decide on what to purchase
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#18 As a CBF member bat shopping must take a minimum of 3 hours, you still spend this time tapping up every bat in the shop before you decide on what to purchase
Shops? Really?
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Shops? Really?
Asad's Alladin's cave should be a CBF pilgrimage!
I haven't visited myself, but Vitas is worth popping into by all accounts too, as is VKS
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Shops? Really?
Why not?
Me personally I've been to Uzi and vitas from here. Plus allrounder and owzat. And I've been to the b3 factory shop more times than I can remember.
Get out and adventure!
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Why not?
Me personally I've been to Uzi and vitas from here. Plus allrounder and owzat. And I've been to the b3 factory shop more times than I can remember.
Get out and adventure!
Don't you know it's only us northerners who are able to drive more than 30 miles to get to somewhere @smilley792 you know southern cars just immediately stop dead after an hour of driving :D
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#19 don't correct procricket spelling they didn't have schools in the shire
#20 wait until Friday nights and fattus drunk to post sales threads
#21 don't make any jokes as admin have no sense of humour
#22 always pretend you know everything about the industry as your friends cousins nieces goldfishs friend told you so it all must be true
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#23 - anything with a pro's name (mispelled of course) on the toe written in a sharpie is a massive fake
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Why not?
Me personally I've been to Uzi and vitas from here. Plus allrounder and owzat. And I've been to the b3 factory shop more times than I can remember.
Get out and adventure!
I favour shops. I just didn't think it was the way for most on here. "I'm a 2lb 9 man" etc.
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Stop saying 'could of', 'should of' etc instead of 'have'?
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#23 - anything with a pro's name (mispelled of course) on the toe written in a sharpie is a massive fake
Or means it really is a bat made for him... True
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Stop saying 'could of', 'should of' etc instead of 'have'?
Is that a rule or you just telling somebody off. Please see below:-
#24 - Rules are rules when you put a "#" in front of them.
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#25 - Bats have stickers, not decals!
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#26 - Don't buy anything off a bloke called Shaq
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#27 Bats photographed in soft focus on sheepskin rugs deserve special reverence
#28 Bats photographed on leather sofas, see #27
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#29 anything can be blamed for your failures except lack of skill and technique.
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Is that a rule or you just telling somebody off. Please see below:-
#24 - Rules are rules when you put a "#" in front of them.
Was just a suggestion. Same applies to people saying 'to many'!
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Was just a suggestion. Same applies to people saying 'to many'!
#30 - Grammar deserves to get corrected. No excuses for poor grammar on this forum. Apart from Dave (procricket).
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#27 Bats photographed in soft focus on sheepskin rugs deserve special reverence
#28 Bats photographed on leather sofas, see #27
You have to include @Chad's piano in there!!
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You have to include @Chad's piano in there!!
The reflective black surface makes for some excellent pics :D
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#30 - Grammar deserves to get corrected. No excuses for poor grammar on this forum. Apart from Dave (procricket).
Oh dear or dear i have a sabbatical and the lord of the rings extra is giving it big licks...
Thought my efforts have got better over time !!!!
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#31 - You're not allowed to be good at cricket. Spoils it for the rest of us.
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#32 @petehosk really should clean the dust from his bloody camera.
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#33 Check the age of the last post before commenting in a thread
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# 34 Stated weights of bats should correct. Every oz over
costs 20 quid. the seller shall be shot, twice.
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#35 - All bat weights are dressed, don't even bother giving naked weights as it gives forum members false hope of a monster bat
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#35 - All bat weights are dressed, don't even bother giving naked weights as it gives forum members false hope of a monster bat
How many forum members have false hope of ever seeing anything naked?
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How many forum members have false hope of ever seeing anything naked?
See rule #4
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#36 - Contact the seller (specially the Forum sponsors) before complaining about their bad customer service on the Forum.
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#36 - Contact the seller (specially the Forum sponsors) before complaining about their bad customer service on the Forum.
this should be #1 :)
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#37 All bats must pick up several ounces light than they actually weigh.
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#38 Bats must be weighed on a digital scale of a reputable brand and weight must be displayed in pounds and oz (Not grams or any other arcane measure)
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Tired of all " It got 45mm edge, 70mm spine, No concaving and only weighs 2-6 lbs".
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#39 a pro bat is only a pro bat if it's owned by a
gullible CBFer pro
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#40 no more stupid videos about the Awkward Aussie or Yorkshireman or your be banned from posting till you lean the error of your ways 🙈🙈🙈
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#41 until you have experienced such sellers remorse that you have to buy back an item you previously sold you are only an amateur member.
#42 no one on here has ever put an absolute plank up for sale, they are always just the wrong weight or don't feel quite right, or just one too many bats.
#43 you net bat is actually better than your match bat but you won't use it in a game as the grains aren't that great.
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#44 Sales margins on cricket equipment from retailers must be at least 80%
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not related to any other latest incident #45 Customer is king, treat them well regardless what! :D
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#46 read the post before you blow a gasket
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#47 don't be a moron and jump on a bandwagon to seem cool and down with the kids
#48 don't think you are hard by insulting someone behind the protection of a screen
#use what little grey matter is left and think "would I say this to the persons face" if not don't post it
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#48 don't think you are hard by insulting someone behind the protection of a screen
YOU WANT SOME DO YA?!
:D
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YOU WANT SOME DO YA?!
:D
Anytime I have had enough practice fighting northerners as my wife is one (yet to win one in 11 years but got to eventually)
I can type faster than you and post nasty pictures that I find with google so mwhhhhhh
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Anytime I have had enough practice fighting northerners as my wife is one (yet to win one in 11 years but got to eventually)
I can type faster than you and post nasty pictures that I find with google so mwhhhhhh
You've offended me. I need a safe space.
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You've offended me. I need a safe space.
Haha I came prepared I have my blanky and care bear collection for instant comfort
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Haha I came prepared I have my blanky and care bear collection for instant comfort
Thank you.
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#49 if in doubt it is Buzz's fault and he should be blamed for everything.
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#50 an attempt to arrange a North v South forum fixture must take place annually
#51 if said fixture does not go ahead see rule #49
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#52 Always crack a joke when camo detailing is used for gear - ie. "Why are there no stickers on that bat?"
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#53 A review is not a review with out sufficient amount of pictures. There are never enough pictures.
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#53 A review is not a review with out sufficient amount of pictures. There are never enough pictures.
How come we jumped straight from rule #51 to #53?
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Rule #52. Rule #52 does not exist, please proceed to #53.
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Rule #52. Rule #52 does not exist, please proceed to #53.
Good one
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Rule #54: You are only selling to pay for your mortgage, because all bat sales fund mortgage payments.
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#55 Never buy bats for your team mates. They will either not pay, want some kind of try before you buy scheme or just generally muck you around. If they want a bat let them buy it themselves. The only person that loses out is you and your money, as you try to offload it on the forum. Try and show them the joys of the forum and watch in horror as they buy an overpriced plank that looks like a kitchen table. At least you tried to steer them towards better willow
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#56 There is to be no selling bats for friends or team mates.... See #55
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#55 Never buy bats for your team mates. They will either not pay, want some kind of try before you buy scheme or just generally muck you around. If they want a bat let them buy it themselves. The only person that loses out is you and your money, as you try to offload it on the forum. Try and show them the joys of the forum and watch in horror as they buy an overpriced plank that looks like a kitchen table. At least you tried to steer them towards better willow
This is so so true!
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This is so so true!
"Try before you buy" part is soo true.