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[FattusCattus]

So, for those of you who follow the soap-opera that is the Southern Nets (a bit like The Kardashians but with more polishing of balls), there are many things to report:

New chums arrived;

Dorset Dan - a ruddy-cheeked West-countryman who made sure everyone knew he hadn't played for many years. Total bandit, he bowled slingy away-swingers that were not filth, and smacked the ball about with gusto. Do not play this man at golf for money!

Jordan - not the large-breasted tabloid whore, but in fact @Woodyspin 's special friend that he bought along. Didn't see him bat, but he bowled late outswingers at a jaunty pace, and pinned @Northern monkey on his poppadum fingers.

Edge the Ledge - our own little 'gert lush' Bristolian, lanky and long of limb (a bit like an orangutan) he propelled the ball down from an energetic run, all arms and legs flailing and tested out the middle of the pitch. I found he was best played from square-leg with attempted slaps through the covers. Thoroughly decent fellow, although I suspect he ate all the flapjacks!

[Northern monkey]

I did fancy a slap of some 50mph half volleys on the bowling machine, but felt a bit of a gooseberry, and didn't feel comfortable interrupting .

Cracking day as always, many thanks for Matt for sorting

[petehosk]

Jealous lol
Nobody else seemed interested in using the bowling machine so we just kept using it...

I thought the same as Northern! You two looked so cozy and intimate in your net that I didn't want to intrude either!
But was a great net although I was disappointed to miss out on those scrummy looking brownies!

[FattusCattus]

In other news, Del Boy May and Rodney Line set up shop at the back of the net, frequently trying to set up passers-by with genuine Swiss Waches and Nylons.

Simons new H4L 50/50 is enormous and ridiculous



@WalkingWicket37 was wearing a very tight pair of hot-pants, think:

@tom line  bats better with a middling bat than a normal bat

@Batbuddy99  looked like a million dollars with a Mongoose MMi thingy, in fact intimidating the bowling machine.

Brownies are more popular than flapjack, which is in turn more popular than bananas

Everyone is quite casual about when they want to bat, until then end of the net, when we end up with 3.5 bowlers for 2 nets, and 7 people ask if they can have 'a bit of a hit?'

[edge]

I found he was best played from square-leg with attempted slaps through the covers.

For this read Fattus applied the Jumbo with extreme prejudice! Was glad to be on the receiving end of what I believe is referred to as proper batting.

I think you could cut Simon's h4l in half and it still wouldn't pass the new MCC size regulations.

Hoping for some snaps from paparazzi @WalkingWicket37 to come?

[Chalkie]

Another great forum net, thanks to Matt for organising.

Missed out on the brownies but the flapjack was good 

[FattusCattus]

IT WAS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WalkingWicket37]

I didn't do a great job of taking pictures, as I only got a few and missed most people attending!

I think @mp07 spotted the camera...


@Woodyspin putting a shift in!


@Northern monkey showing @tom line which end of the bat to hold


Fattus teaching Benji (@Batbuddy99) how to be a bender


And from left to right (I hope I tag the tight people here, I'm crap with names...)
@edge @Chalkie @FattusCattus @simonmay5


And lastly, @uknsaunders climbing on a chair so he could see over the stumps

[FattusCattus]

Fattus teaching Benji (@Batbuddy99) how to be a bender

Oh my God!! Look how slim and muscular (and bald and clueless!) I look!

[ppccopener]

Benji listening with interest when told back-in-the-day you got a bus to the cricket matches and had to do three paper rounds just to afford the match fee!

[jblowe]

Oh, so much to discuss!! But folks - WE HAVE A NEW FORUM BROMANCE!!!! A certain pair spent many hours together in one net, with their heads together furtively discussing tips and techniques. In fact, it took a bucket of cold water and some flapjacks to seperate them!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - KING GEORGE & HENRY:

 

I had to ask Nick to put the balls in the machine as both my Butler and Footman have Sundays off.

[uknsaunders]

Brucie woke up today and said "which of the dozen cricket shirts shall I wear,  I know I'll come as a cyclist.

Whether Cam will ever be able to have children after wearing those skin tight bright green shorts I'm not sure.

[Northern monkey]

Bruce! Your wasting away!
Will bring more brownies next time

[tom line]

Thank you @DorsetDan I am confused how I manage to hit better with a middling bat than an actual one though

[edge]

Second that - hanky dad is a net bowling hero!